Counting Our Blessings

The Joys of Shopping

2011-09-09T11:19:00.001-06:00

Since Sam (the best helper in the world) has went to school, I am now attempting to do all my errands with the twins in tow. I haven't really taken them out in public a lot because.. well, because it is SO much work. I tried to grocery shop the other day and that was a joke!! It went like this...

Colton on hip, Alex in cart.

Colton too squirmy, traded places with the calmer child.

Colton, the escape artist, exits seat and is now trying to exit cart face first.

Alex grabbing items off shelf when I am attending to Colton.

Can't drive cart with stupid, gimpy arm, so switch Alex to different hip.

Almost drop Alex with stupid, gimpy arm, Colton screaming because of purposely too tight belt.

After small amount of groceries (which I only got half on what was on my list) unloaded from cart, I realize my purse is in car!! Are you kidding me!

Not to mention, the WHOLE time I am getting the freak show stares and questions from strangers.

-"Wow, you have your hands full" No shit!!

-"Are they both yours?" No, I am just a glutton for punishment! I randomly pick up babies to take shopping

-"You don't look like you could possibly have twins."

If you had to grocery shop with these two, weight would drop like melted butter!

-"They don't look alike." How astute...

-"My thirtieth cousin from my great-great aunt had twins"

Excuse me, do I look like I give a crap? I kinda have my hands full!
-Either, "I would have loved twins" or "I want twins" You got the "loved" twins right! Love goes out the window as soon as you are pregnant with the little buggers (I am seriously kidding!) You want twins? Here are two right here for the taking!! I'll be expecting your call from the insane asylum in about two hours!

-"This one looks like Blaine but who does the other look like?"

To which, I would love to answer, "My lover"

AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Life would be so much simpler if I had a sign like this!

Fine Print: To those who are now questioning my love and devotion of my boys, I am completely in love with them and wouldn't trade them for anything in the whole wide world. Just was a crazy moment in my day!

To those who are now afraid to ask questions..don't be, I usually love the questions and the chance to show them off!

We made it!

2011-08-09T09:14:00.000-06:00

Sunday was the big 1st birthday party. I cannot believe that time went by so fast. It seems like mere months ago, they were this big...

And now they are this big!

The chocolate cupcake was a huge hit!

Done in record time!

Believe it or not but this was as dirty as Alex got!

This was the only second that they showed interest in the presents

Custom made t-shirts by yours truly

Grandpa Big brought the biggest hit of the day. They are obsessed with these!

It was such a wonderful day filled with family and friends. We are just so lucky to have Alex & Colton in our lives. We must have done something right to have such blessings.

We love you both so very much!

Oh, the stress...

2011-07-30T09:56:00.000-06:00

For the past two very long months we have been dealing with medical problems with Sam.

It started on Memorial Weekend, when Sam casually commented, "Mom, my one eye is blurry and I can't see out of it." I dismissed it and told him to rub it and I forgot about it until we were shooting the BB gun and I noticed that he was looking down the barrel with the other eye. After further talking with him, his eye had been that way for several days. Geez, he tells us on a Saturday night and a weekend no less!!! Well, obviously, with our luck and the medical crap going on in our family, Blaine & I took him immediately into the ER.The doctor looked at it and said that he believed that it was a retinal detachment and we needed to get it fix that night if not in the morning. So Sunday morning, we rushed down to IF to an eye surgeon. After an hour and half of finding nothing, Dr. Anderson said that he believed that something was pushing on Sam's optical nerve.

GASP!!! That is one thing no parent wants to hear. My legs were jello and all I could think was God COULD NOT do this to us! We have been through so much and to have my sweet boy sick was just too damn much!

My sweet loving little boy was such a rock star! Blaine,the veteran,explained to him what a MRI was, what they were looking for and he had to hold still. Yea, right!!! The MRI tech took one look at Sam and cringed probably at the thought of doing one on a little kid. However, it didn't take him long to see that Sam was cooperative and willing to do whatever was asked of him. I was able to go into the room with him and was able to talk to him and hold his beautiful little foot. I was doing really well at holding it together but halfway into the MRI, I couldn't control my tears anymore. They just kept coming and there was nothing in this world I could do to stop them. I thought that Sam couldn't see me in his tunnel but I looked in there and tears were rolling down his little face. It broke my heart that I could not fix it. When it came to the IV, the tech wasn't able to let Sam see the needle or what he was doing because he still was in the Hannibal Lector mask. Sam started crying saying over and over again, "Let me see. Let me see." Luckily, it only took a few seconds and we were off and running to the next phase of the MRI. Afterwards, we were able to see the scans of his perfect little brain and joked with Sam that now there was no reason that he couldn't think because there is an actual brain in there!

After four agonizing hours, the Dr called to tell us that Sam's little brain was perfectly normal. I cannot begin to express how absolutely wonderful that was to hear when we were expecting the absolute worse and with my family's history of cancer, we were convinced that this was a battle that was inevitable. There was also no lesions, which ruled out MS. Whew!! When we called everyone to tell them the good news, Sam told them in this sweet innocent little voice, "I don't have any tumors." I swear it sounded just like Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was the funniest thing ever.

We were told to keep an eye on Sam and to alert the doctor if anything else shows up. Well, two days later he was up all night with a horrendous headache. Crap!!! I had to take the twins to Idaho Falls to get their hearing checked that day also so I called Dr. Anderson's office to get an appointment and was told to take him to a doctor ASAP. During this time of being on the phone, the twins were failing their test because of them both having ear infections. Are you kidding me?!?!? Just beat me while I'm down!!

I called the clinic in Driggs to see Dr. Horrocks to be told he was booked solid for the whole week. Well, that's when I totally lost it. I was sobbing uncontrollably. Poor Patty Lyons!! I explained to her that the twins both had ear infections and Sam had to see the doctor immediately. God bless her and Laurel Ricks, they squeezed me in and even came out to the car to help me with my troop. I can only imagine what we looked like. Me with my red eyes, the twins screaming because of the long car ride and Sam crying also. As if I wasn't a freak show enough!

After antibiotics and an appointment with a pediatric neurologist, the waiting game began. Sam's appointment wasn't until the end of June so I continued to give him medicine to help him with his headaches and I kept a food and activity journal. As if there wasn't enough on my plate between physical therapy three times a week and swimming lessons twice a week.

Fast forward to the neurologist appointment, where he had no idea what it could be and ordered a crap load of blood tests and an EEG (seizure test) to rule out strokes, auto-immune, cancer, infections and seizures. Sam did so awesome on the blood tests. He didn't make a peep. He laid there and watched the needle go in and everything. Proud Mom Moment!

This last Wednesday, we had to be in Idaho Falls for the EEG. His appointment was at 9:00 p.m., that's right at night! He was hooked up to so many wires. What was originally to take 1 1/2 hours to 2 hours, only took us one. There were a couple of blips on the screen that looked really scary but the tech wasn't able to tell us anything, of course, but I still asked. Grandma Zohner, who by the way has been the ultimate babysitter and God Send, came with me to keep me awake on the drive home, which by the time we got to Piney Pass, I was very grateful for.

Yesterday, Blaine was able to go to the Neurologist appointment. Once again legs were jello and stomach was in knots. We had to wait for 40 minutes, which I had totally convinced myself that he was avoiding us because he hates to give people bad news. Just when Blaine & I were ready to tear apart the room, Dr. Castellano came in to tell us that everything came back normal on the blood tests (YEA!!!) and the EEG had a few questionable blips (See, I knew it) but it was nothing definitive. We are just to keep a close eye on him and see Dr. Castellano in a month!! Woohoo!! While we still don't know what is causing the blurriness in his one eye, we now know that the worst things are ruled out and anything else is doable.

Last night, I slept like I haven't slept since I was heavily medicated after my surgery. Words cannot describe how relieved Blaine & I are, not to mention our families.

Sam, we love you to the Milky Way and back. Even beyond that but I don't know anything past the Milky Way :)

Whirlwind Weekend

2011-07-06T08:30:00.000-06:00

The 4th of July weekend was crazy busy. Between two cookouts, a trip to see the Huntsman extravaganza, a ride into hunting camp and the 4th of July festivities, we were going non-stop. It was one of the first times that we have really been able to really show off the twins and show them off we did!

Ohhhh, this looks so yummy!! They are finally starting to like grass! Almost too much or so their diapers say!!

This gives me a warm fuzzy!!

Their hero!!

Your dad gave you licorice!?!?!

This was the first time we took the babies on a 4 wheeler ride. Alex thought the Baby Bjorn was a bouncer and he literally jumped the entire way into camp! They both giggled and squealed the whole way in!! It was so much fun!

Fireworks were a big hit for all the boys in the family. I believe that I am surrounded by a bunch of pyros!

We had a great weekend. It is so much fun to immerse the twins into all these firsts. While they might not have enjoyed every minute and not remember any of it, Blaine, Sam & I are enjoying it enough for them. Who would have thought that we would be able to do this all again. We are so blessed...

Toilet Paper Capers

2011-06-27T08:16:00.000-06:00

This is what happens when a certain 9 year old leaves the bathroom door open with a brand new roll of toilet paper! Note: Sam believes that once the toilet paper is off the roll, it is unusable and proceeds to get yet another one out of the cupboard. AAAHHHH!

Look, Mama! Aren't you so proud? (Um, not really.)

This is not first and certainly not the last of the Toilet Paper Capers!

Two Month Flashback

2011-06-22T13:38:00.000-06:00

Here's a quick glimpse into the last two months...

Monkeys in a cage

(This was the first and last time they actually enjoyed this)

Love the blue eyes!!

This was my attempt at 9 month pictures. It didn't go so well!

Mr. Squishy Face!

I could kiss whoever made the swings like this!!

Our very own "Dead Eye Dick"

Can you say......

2011-04-30T21:27:00.000-06:00

*#%@!!!!!

I have been lax on my blogging lately for some very good reasons:

This was March and I do mean ALL of March:

First, Sam spent a week home with a really bad cold that turned into RSV for the twins. Meaning one month solitary confinement to our house + oxygen + separating the twins for the first time. Thankfully, though, no hospitalization was required and other than being completely terrifying both are doing very well and they have now moved onto crawling and climbing!

Then at the beginning of April, I had the brilliant idea of going skiing with Blaine & Sam and then this happened.....

This is my elbow...my super bionic elbow. That, my friends, is some very expensive titanium in my arm! This is what happens when your snowboarding skills are lacking and arm meets hard packed snow with body still in motion. This means three months physical therapy + a knarly scar that's 8 " long + calling Richard & Betty to come babysit me and the babies for possibly two months or more.

All in all these equals SHIT!!!!! There is no other word in the English language that would come close to explaining the last two months. Fingers crossed for this next month.

Life with twins

2011-02-23T08:11:00.000-07:00

Whoever told me that twins get easier after the first few months is a LIAR and I will be hunting them down to give them a piece of my mind. It was the one thing I clung to when the boys were tiny...it will get easier, it will get easier...Well, it has gotten so much harder.If the day hasn't ended in tears then I overdosed on my medication!

They are running out of room in their crib because they WILL NOT sleep toe to toe, head to head or even apart. It has to be side by side or on occasion this way...

Baby food time has started. I think teaching them to eat like little piggies with a trough would be so much easier. It can't get any messier!

Bath time has now moved to the tub. I thought it would be fun to finally see them in the tub together. I must have been out of my mind! Giggle, giggle, splash, cough, scream, giggle, giggle, splash, cough, scream, repeat. You get the idea.

You would think with two babies they wouldn't need to have you in their eye shot all the time. Wrong..it's just one more crying baby when you walk away.

Alex has become the ultimate binkie stealer. He doesn't want to suck on it, he just doesn't want Colton to have it, which you can imagine just makes Colton furious.

They are also constantly sucking on each others appendages. However, Alex is now getting bit by the Colton's tiny tooth that keeps indenting itself in his skin. Possibly a payback for all the binkie stealing? Regardless, Alex voices his displeasure by screaming at the top of his lungs.

They have also perfected the art of "pauses". You know those little naps that couldn't possibly be longer than ten minutes? Yep, those! It's not bad if just one would lay their quietly until I came to get him but noooo, binkies must be stolen, tooth marks must be made until they are both awake and I'm on my knees by the crib begging, "Please, please go back to sleep!"

Then there are these moments when I am reminded of what blessings that I have and I wouldn't have it any other way. Our lives were getting too quiet anyway!!

So, you get the idea of my day, which by the way starts at 5:00 a.m. So please don't judge when this blog gets updated once in a blue moon. Also note that if you are the one that told me it would get easier...I will be dropping the boys off shortly!

The "Boys"

2010-11-18T04:05:00.000-07:00

I am so very thankful that I have not been able to keep this current because of these two loves of my life. Enough said!

Mr. Porkchop

Laxin' in the lazy boy

It's never too young to learn some wrestling moves.

Sambodini

2010-11-04T08:00:00.000-06:00

Sam keeps me on my toes and I wouldn't have it any other way. I never knew being a mom could be so much fun and so draining at the same time. From day one, he was a mover and some things have never changed. During the toddler years, I was running at full steam keeping up with him and now that he is older, I'm mentally running at full speed. When family members have a busy child, they now refer to their kids as their "Sammy". Sometimes I wonder if they mean that as a good thing or the bane of their existence!

Sam is such a sweet boy, who would do anything for anyone. He sees things that I am ashamed of not seeing. When he was five, we drove past an older lady's house where she was shoveling her driveway and Sam wanted to help her. We got out and he shoveled like a champ for almost an hour and with his attention span that is an eternity! I was one proud mama that day. He is also a tease and a master manipulator. I swear he can bat his long eyelashes and everyone comes a running, especially the ladies. From the lunch ladies at the school to his own mother! He can get anyone to do anything.

Sam is the unofficial big brother of Jade, which he takes VERY seriously. He has come to Jade's rescue many times at school when Jade is having a bad day. In fact, Sam is the "go to kid" when Miss Hulet can't fix it. He has also shocked me in his acceptance of the twins. He is completely and totally in love with them. There has never been the "little green-eyed monster". Never. I am so proud of the way he has adapted to the new situation. We love him so very much and so very grateful he is in our lives!

Blainer

2010-11-02T07:51:00.000-06:00

I've stole this idea from my friend Niki because it is such a great way to express gratitude for the everyday things in my life. Thanks Niki! I'm 100% positive that there will not be a post everyday but at least I will give it a good go.

November 1st:

I am so grateful for Blaine. For those of you who are not familiar with him. He is the whirlwind that blows in every direction. He is rarely EVER still. He is constantly moving, whether that be playing or working. Lately, it has been more working than playing though. This year has been extremely trying for obvious reasons and not once has he given up and stopped. He also has the "Can Do" attitude in life. Nobody can tell him that he can't. He will go out of his way to prove them otherwise. That part of his character can drive me up the wall sometimes but when it comes to his multiple sclerosis, I will gladly let him prove that it will not get the best of him.

After almost 18 years of concrete, he found another job and hung up his concrete tools and is now building houses. It is amazing to see the change in his attitude. He is smiling more and his outlook on life isn't so doom and gloom. Not to mention the lack of that stinking form oil! OK-that's my dislike!! That crap was awful and it NEVER came out of clothes!

Blaine has been VERY understanding and patient with my extreme emotions this last few months and for that I am extremely grateful. He never knows what he is going to see when when comes through the door at night. It's like a game show where you never know what's behind Door #1! He always gives me a hug and tell me he loves me, even when I am really not open to the idea at the moment. He will hold me until the tears stop or take over the boys when it is obvious that I can't take another minute.

When Blaine & I were at the point of giving up on more children, he made the comment that he was kind of glad that there wouldn't be anymore kids because how could he give each child the attention they deserve? Well....as for that, he is doing wonderfully. It may be chaotic at times but each boy gets a little "Daddy" time. Last night, it was a football game with the twins. The day before, there was a Lego disaster on my floor from Blaine playing with Sam and How to Train Your Pet Dragon on the t.v. for the hundredth time. I think he is doing a great job of balancing.

All in all, Blaine is a great man and I am so lucky that he is in my life.

Yea!

2010-11-01T08:08:00.002-06:00

Only 11 months later, Sam finally lost another tooth. He even tried to pull it out himself but he said the metal on his teeth made him want to pee his

pants.

Before

During

After

Too "Stinkin" Cute!

2010-11-01T08:08:00.000-06:00

Halloween was a two day event at our house. On Saturday, it was an afternoon at the carnival and a visit to our Driggs people and then on Sunday a visit to our Victor peeps.

My "not so little anymore" Cowboy

I think Sam might of had just as much fun showing off his skunks as I did.

My little Stinkers

Channeling....

2010-11-01T07:43:00.000-06:00

Grandpa Zohner

Destiny?

2010-10-27T09:55:00.000-06:00

Maybe it was destiny that I was to have twin boys. Hmmmm.....funny, I don't remember sleepless nights with my first set.

10/10/10

2010-10-14T15:07:00.001-06:00

What a happy accident that we had the twins blessed on 10/10/10. I wish I could say that I had it all planned to be on that day but that would require me thinking and I'm not doing much of that lately.

Grandpa Zohner did an amazing job and blessed them with wonderful blessings. There were so many people there that it was indeed humbling to see everyone support us. We are so blessed.

2 months

2010-10-14T14:45:00.002-06:00

The boys turned two months old on October 7th. I can't believe that time has went by so fast. As of Monday, Alex weighs 9 lbs 1 oz. and Colton weighs 8 lbs. 12 ozs. Talk about a reversal of the bigger baby. It is no surprise that Alex has finally out weighed Colton. He eats like a little piggy.

The boys' definitely act different in every way.

At feeding time:

Alex- "I WANT MY FOOD NOW, WOMAN!"

Colton:-"When you get around to it, I might eat and when I do, it WILL take forever. There is no rushing these things."

After their little circumcision:

Colton- "Oh, this hurts. If you get around to it, will you please hold me?"

Alex- "Damn this hurts and I am going to make your life miserable, so hold me now and every second of every minute!"

It's so hard to believe that these boys are twins. Besides sharing a birthday, there is no comparison.

Sam has also become a big help with feeding. It is now a morning ritual for Sam to feed one baby and I to feed the other. He even changed his first poopie diaper! He may never do it again but he at least did it once! Jade even gets into the act when he is here. I'm a lucky mama!

Beautiful Wedding

2010-10-14T14:10:00.000-06:00

My little brother became a husband in a gorgeous wedding to the love of his life. Sheena was breathtaking in her dress. The first time I seen her, it took my breath away. There has never been a more beautiful bride. We are so happy for the both of them and wish them all the happiness possible.

Sam had the very important role as the ring bearer. For a boy that loves to be the center of attention, he was very nervous. He did a wonderful job though. He stood by his Uncle Matt like a gentlemen. We are so proud of him.

Come on, Kermee! Let's go eat some Bananas!

2010-09-17T08:41:00.000-06:00

Sam has numerous nicknames from Sambodini to Bugs so it was natural for the boys to have nickanmes. When they were first born, Alex looked exactly like Walter Matheau (Grumpy Old Men) and by default Colton was Jack Lemmon. Honestly, Alex looked like a wrinkly old guy and with his little jowels, he was a dead ringer!

Since they are now a whopping 6.9 and 6.12 lbs, they look more like healthy babies and we have come up with new names. Colton has to have his little legs folded up like a little frog all the time, so Kermit is fitting. Mr. Alex is one hairy little guy. He has more hair on his back than Colton has on his whole head and when he purses his lips, he looks so much like a little monkey. The names are so fitting that I am using monkeys and frogs for their room!

A Family of Five

2010-09-13T12:57:00.001-06:00

On August 7, 2010 at 4:25 a.m., our little family grew from three to four and then one minute later from four to five.

Alex Jacob Rasmussen

4 lbs. 0 oz.

16.5 inches

4:25 a.m.

Colton John Rasmussen

4 lbs. 1 oz.

17.5 inches

4:26 a.m.

As you can tell from my last post,these little blessings were not expected so early. I am not going to bore you with the details but they were born 8 weeks too early. As you can tell, they are fraternal twins. Alex looks like a little Zohner baby with his dark skin and brown hair while Colton is a little Rasmussen/van Leerdam baby with his light skin and reddish hair. I now have three totally different looking babies!

This past month has been a blur. The boys were in the NICU for a total of 24 days. When they were first born they were in separate incubators in the most critical unit of the NICU. They shared a room with some very sick babies including a 2 lb. born at 28 weeks. As you can see from the above pictures, our little boys were hooked up to so many tubes and monitors. It was heart wrenching to to see them like that. I had massive amounts of guilt. I wished that I hadn't complained so much about being in Idaho Falls. I have truly learned the lesson of being careful what you wish for. However, for being born at 32 weeks, both boys were doing exceedingly well. They were only on oxygen for a few days and being so early they were being tube feed because of the lack the feeding reflex. FYI-when people say that they are born to eat, that isn't the case! They do not learn the eating reflex until about the 36 week of pregnancy. Colton was doing fabulous while little Alex had some hurdles with stomach issues and just in general wasn't doing so well. We decided to have the boys receive a blessing and long story short, those poor young missionaries. They were totally unprepared for the NICU experience! That is something I am sure that either elders will forget. The blessings were absolutely beautiful and I am 100% positive that they helped because the next day, Alex started improving.

After a week, the boys were moved into a step down room of the NICU. The nurses hadn't called or warned us of the move until I walked into the NICU and seen my babies gone. I have never been so close to fainting without actually doing so. The nurse came running towards me saying that they are OK, they just got moved. I was sure that something had happened to them both and they hadn't called me. I shook for all day after that. I was also so relieved to see them in another room and in the same incubator! After a week of being separated, they were finally together and doing so well. You could just see how much more relaxed and healthier they were. It made me cry. OK, so a lot of things made me cry but this was happy tears.

After a week of being with Alex & Colton, I decided that I needed to go home to Victor and see Sam. He had been such a trooper. He had spent hours with us in the NICU and had never complained. For being a very busy boy and spending a couple of hours being quiet and still, he did very, very well. The nurses kept commenting on what a well mannered boy he was and how he is more than welcome to come anytime. That made me one very proud mama!

Anyway, the first time I left the twins to come home to Victor, I sobbed and sobbed. It felt like my heart was being ripped into two pieces. After being with the boys for almost 8 months and all the sudden not be able to see them or touch them was a feeling that I will never forget or ever what to relive. Once we arrived home, I immediately called the hospital to check on them and upon hearing they were doing well, I cried again. I had originally planned on staying home for a day and then going back but Sam and Blaine got some kind of stomach bug and for the safety of the babies, I had to stay away from them for a few more days. Those poor nurses were probably so sick and tired of me crying in their ears and me repeatedly saying that I was so very sorry I wasn't there.

I started going back and forth to Idaho Falls every other day so that Sam didn't feel neglected and so that I had time to rest. It never did get easier to leave the hospital but I was learning to stay busy while I wasn't there. Richard and Betty were at the house helping with Sam and doing all my little "honey do" things, so that helped. I even rode into hunting camp on the four wheeler only 2 weeks after my c-section. I couldn't stay at the house for another second and when Blaine & Sam were going in to help set up tents, I took my chance to go. I was a little nervous about going but it never hurt! I was shocked! In fact, four days after the boys were born, I went shopping all day with Betty! I guess my obsession with Pilate's before getting pregnant and during the initial few months helped a lot! I am such a firm believer of being in shape before you get pregnant.

Initially, we were told to expect Alex and Colton to stay in the hospital until their due date of September 28. So it was a complete shock when on August 28, we were told that they would be released early that week. Both boys were eating well on their own and were doing well enough to come home! They had also lost over a 1/2 lb. after birth and had now gained that back plus another pound in less than a month!

Blaine was unable to be with me when we brought Alex and Colton home on August 31 so Grandma Zohner came with me. The ride home was very nerve wracking and after all the time of wishing that they were home, now I was wishing that I could take them back to the hospital where someone would hold my hand. The teaching that they gave us before EIRMC would release them had me in a pure panic state! There was so much to look out for and not do and things to do that normal babies wouldn't require, I was terrified that I would screw up and do irreparable harm to them.

My fears have been calmed immensely and they are still healthy. I have now got into the swing of things. They are both wonderful babies that sleep, eat and poop on a regular basis. The hospital had them on a three hour eating schedule that I just have to maintain. It has been wonderful and I am so glad to be done with the whole hospital experience.

The Room with NO view

2010-08-05T10:36:00.000-06:00

I knew it was going to happen. I had been told every month since the dual surprise but I chose to ignore it. I built my little bubble around what I thought was going to happen and dared anyone or anything to burst it. Well, Monday afternoon it was burst. I am officially stuck in Idaho Falls until the babies are born.

The boys apparently decided that they were getting really sick and tired of their close quarters and thought they would speed things up a bit. Blaine & I made a fast trip to IF to be told that I would be staying in the hospital or Idaho Falls for the duration of my pregnancy.I have stayed in the hospital for three days now and this afternoon I get to break out of this room with no view.

I have been monitored really close the last few days and I get to hear and see the heartbeats every few hours, which never gets old. Sorry about the blurred picture but after so trying so hard to get a good picture of the monitor, this is the best that I can get from a horizontal position. Both boys are doing great but Baby B (Still no names!Tick, tick, tick!!!)absolutely hates the monitor and will come out of his sleep to kick or hit it constantly. We thought at first he might have the hiccups but no, my little man is ANGRY! He will move around trying to avoid it and once it's there he will lay there and hit it the whole entire. I feel them move around a lot but it isn't until the monitors are on my stomach that I really see how much they are moving around. It's like my stomach has little waves in it with the occasional appendage poking up. It's kinda creepy but wonderful at the same time.

As of today, I am going to be moving into an apartment which I am really anxious about but it is SOOO much better than staying in the hospital. Richard and Betty were so gracious into talking me into it instead of the camper. Me, being my stubborn self, refused to even talk about anywhere else until the doctors said at least a month of being here. I'm pretty sure a camper would get old really fast for that length of time. I actually am going to have quite a bit of freedom. Dr. Hall is letting me to enjoy Idaho Falls (his word, NOT mine! Enjoy has never been a word I have associated with IF). I can go to the mall, the Greenbelt, etc. All of which I am very grateful for.

My dad had the GREATEST theory when I explained that I could be down here for at least 4 weeks and I didn't think that I could do it. He told me that with the sleeping pills that they were giving me, I technically couldn't count half of my day so I really only have 2 weeks left! I love that man!

However, with that great theory embedded in my head and it only being the third day, I am still struggling to keep it together. I have strawberries coming on that I was looking forward to making jam into, I had a few more weeks of spending time with Sam before school started, I left a huge mess in my office that I am absolutely horrified for anyone to see and not to mention the fact that I just want to be home! I want to do the best for the babies but my heart breaks when I think of being away from Sam and Blaine for so long.

Sam is being super strong but when he came to visit me after spending the day with Peggy, Jade, & Nancy at the zoo, I could tell that he was struggling. He kept moving his hat up and down on his forehead and wouldn't look at me, so of course, I started to cry and he told me that I needed to be strong for him. That cleared the tears quickly. I feel so bad that I can't be with him and I only hope that he will be okay and time goes by quickly.

As for Blaine, if it wasn't for a lot of people stepping in and offering their help, he would be a worse basket case then I. Last weekend, I was trying to set up people to watch Sam and basically have a little schedule to follow so that Blaine can just glance and proceed. I got a pretty good lecture about how he can handle it and for me not to waste my time on something so stupid. However, I'm thinking that Blaine is probably regretting that by now! Luckily, his parents are coming today and helping out which will relieve a lot of people from having to take care of Sam and it will help Blaine to be able to breathe a little.

I'm not sure whether I have internet access at the apartment, so I will keep this better updated when I am able. Until then, wish me luck and lots of sanity!

Flash Forward

2010-08-03T10:26:00.000-06:00

Here's a quick peek into the last two months:

Sam & Jade enjoying their summer vacation.

We said goodbye to our dog, Nicki.

We had our van Leerdam family reunion (There is only 7 of us in the whole family) at the Blue Angel Air Show.It might have been hotter than the shades of Hades but it was a blast!

Oh, yea and I keep getting bigger and bigger!

Jade's Graduation & Field Day

2010-06-14T08:13:00.000-06:00

Rob & Summer invited me to come to Jade's Kindergarten Graduation and Field Day. I still cannot believe that he is 5. It seems like just yesterday that Summer brought him to me at just a few weeks old. He has become such a smart little boy and we dearly love him.

This is probably the first time I have ever seen wind fly through his hair. He has NOT been know for his speediness.

This was before he decided to start a solo sack race. He got to the finish line and truly believed he won! Nobody could tell him different.

Here is our little graduate!

He is looking forward to riding the bus with Sam this next year and coming home to see his "baby brudders". He has told just about everyone that he is getting twin brothers which in turn, Summer and Rob get curious looks and questions and even the occasional congrats.It makes us all laugh but it warms all our hearts that he thinks of us as his family too.We love you, Jade!

Projects

2010-06-04T17:18:00.000-06:00

This past week, I promised Blaine that instead of freaking out about things that I can't control, I would keep my mind busy. So....

The quilt I made a few years ago is finally finished.

I started obsessing over making two perfect diaper bags.(Really, I could have just bought one. I'm sure it would have been cheaper!)The pattern seemed really simple until I started but since I thought I would change some pockets and add some more pockets, it has gotten too confusing with my pregnancy brain and I have since passed my project from hell to my mom.

These are all great but what I really should be doing is start getting ready for the babies! I have hit an emotional road block. I CANNOT seem to get started.Once I get started on trying to figure out what is going to be needed, I panic. What would have been a simple task with one, it becomes seemingly insurmountable when two are involved.It is so overwhelming! There are double the amount of swings, bottles, diapers, onesies, clothes, blankets, car seats, carriers, etc.......As for the clothes and diapers, I am sure that they will be preemie but for how long? How many preemie diapers and preemie clothes will they need and will they gain weight quickly and be out of them in a month? So many questions and so little answers.

I'm pretty sure that I am driving Blaine and my family crazy because I have always been a planner. They ask me what I have bought or made and I get that far away look and quickly change the subject or say that there is still plenty of time, which they promptly notify me of my bed rest and how close that actually is. Which in turn, I do one of two things or even both; I start to cry and/or panic and I still don't get anything done!

So I promise myself that I WILL start on Monday and let my family kick me in the butt, if I don't!

They are getting bigger!

2010-05-29T19:29:00.000-06:00

We had the second of many ultrasounds to come yesterday. We actually talked my mom into coming with us so she could see the boys in action.

As always, it was amazing to see them move around on the screen. It is so surreal at times to think that those images are actually our little boys in my stomach. When one child after Sam seemed to be an impossibility, it's unreal to see the one impossibility turn into two impossibilities!

One baby is quite a bit more active than the other but both seem to be perfectly healthy and active. Baby A is 1lb. 1oz., while Baby B is 1lb. 2 ozs.

It seems like we may never get to see the profile of Baby A (No, still no names but getting closer)he seems to be pretty shy but very, very active but we got an amazing picture of his little lips and nose peeking a us. I hope you can see it.

And introducing our little thumbsucker! We can only hope that Baby B is a tad calmer than Baby A!

These were the only pictures that we got yesterday but Blaine, Mom & I can confirm that they are both ALL Rasmussen. Their faces look just like minature Sams.It will be fascinating just how close that they will look like each other and how much they will look like Sam. Then again, they could have the same features as Sam but have red hair and freckles!

A Happy and Shocking Surprise

2010-05-27T10:46:00.000-06:00

Last night, I do believe my heart jumped out of my chest! Since Blaine has been in Salt Lake, I have been quite the bed hog and used to having nobody in there with me.However, last night I was in the process of rolling over when I rolled on top of a warm adult body. Scared the livin' crap right out of me! In my dazed and confused state, I screamed and jumped out of bed and who should speak to me but my own husband! He decided to surprise Sam & I and that was a complete understatement! I am so glad he is home for a few days but I warned him to NEVER, NEVER do that to me again!

Baseball Season

2010-05-20T11:03:00.000-06:00

After much procrastination, here are pictures of the one and only baseball game that the sun shown. As always, the kids brave snow & rain to play the few games of the season. Sam has really enjoyed it this year. He has had some great coaches and since there are no girls to smooze, he actually pays attention. In fact, one game he made two outs when playing first and second base. He was so proud and so was his family. It's great to have family come to support him, it means so much to him and I.It almost makes up the fact that his dad can't be there.

Not a Double Take

2010-05-05T07:11:00.000-06:00

Just thought I would update you. The ultrasound report came back and the boys are fraternal! I pretty sure that all grandparents and family will breathe a sign of relief. It never occured to me that Blaine, Sam & I might know who they are but it would definitely keep everyone else on their toes. However, don't for a minute think we are not going to dress them alike for awhile. Twins for us will only come once in this lifetime so I am NOT going to miss my opportunity!

As to the most important stuff, everything looks really well and all parts are accounted for and functioning as needed.Whew!

That time of year again

2010-05-05T06:56:00.000-06:00

(Sidenote: No, I am not already slacking on the oldest child. I had this post done for awhile but forgot to post it!)

It's that time of year again for:

Sam's 3rd year of Dirt Cups

(Nothing else will do!)

New Boots

Just like Grandpa Big's (Sam's nickname for my dad)

An Upgrade

Last but certainly not least-Sam's 8th Birthday!

He had a great birthday with lots of fun presents and lots of people who loved him. I think probably the best present was his dad being home. Everywhere Blaine went, Sam followed.

Happy Birthday, Sambo! We love you!

Here They Are!

2010-05-01T07:08:00.001-06:00

So obviously, ultrasound pictures are hard to read and I'll try to explain the best I can.

This is my favorite picture. The heads are right in the center, faces away from the camera and Baby A's head is on top on Baby B. Their little bodies are opposite of each other so they are laying cheek to cheek.

This picture is similar to the picture I seen when I thought the lab tech was joking. It's the tops of their little heads. The squiggly line in the center is the membrane, which is a good thing. Still not sure on identical or fraternal, yet though.

Baby A's Profile picture. In the video, you could see his little mouth move. Too cute! Well, for an ultrasound picture. To tell you the truth, babies in ultrasound pictures look to me like little aliens.I guess I have read way too many Stephen King books!

And last but certainly not least is Baby B. He was on the bottom, so a good profile picture of him was almost impossible so please bear with me. This is the best one we got. However, it sounds like we will have lots of pictures before he comes into the world, so hopefully better luck next time.

He is facing downward. You can see his perfect little spine!

You can't tell I am not proud of the little munchkins! I could look at these pictures over and over again and I still can't believe that we are having twins. But it is nice to know that there isn't one REALLY busy baby kicking me on one side then jumping to the other side and kicking me there. I really thought I was going to have another baby busier than Sam was! Oh, crap, I guess I could have two busier than Sam! I've got to go put my head between my legs. I'm feeling a little lightheaded!

OH, BOYS!

2010-04-30T03:34:00.001-06:00

THE TITLE IS NOT A TYPO!

So I don't have pictures yet but this news is definitely worthy of telling without them. However, for those that are skeptical, pictures will be up shortly.

Today, well, I should say yesterday, I haven't been able to sleep yet(It's 2:30 a.m.), Blaine & I went to our scheduled ultrasound to finally see the baby and not just a blob on the screen. We were betting on the way there on whether or not the baby was a boy or girl. Blaine was convinced that only a girl could be that mean to her momma and I wasn't sure. I had always dreamed of a girl but I could just picture a boy.

For those of you that haven't had to have an ultrasound at about 20 weeks know about the dreaded 32 ozs. of water an hour beforehand. IT'S COMPLETE TORTURE! I could barely make it to Swan Valley before begging Blaine to stop at the gas station! Then the road construction and the 50 Bump signs!

Sorry, I'll continue with my story...

I hadn't been on the ultrasound table one minute, so excited to see my little baby when the lab tech said, "So you know you are having twins." It was a statement not a question and I started to laugh. Funny lady, right!?! I thought that until I glanced up at the screen and seen two little heads! TWO LITTLE HEADS! Not so funny anymore. All the sudden, Blaine's hand left my hand. I glanced over at him and he is sitting in the chair with his head between his knees. Needless to say, tears began and other words and sayings of disbelief. But there THEY were. TWO Perfect Little Boys! Whom were very, very proud of their little gender! Baby B (no NAMES yet. Try figuring out two, when you can't even agree on one!) didn't want his picture taken of his face but boy howdy, he was so proud of being a boy! Baby A was more than willing to show us everything. Already, Baby B doesn't want his picture taken and Baby A can't get enough of it. Sounds like me and Blaine! I hate pictures taken and Blaine could care less.

The lab tech was quite surprised that we hadn't know before then and said it was really hard to tell if they were identical or fraternal because I was farther along than most when they find out about twins. So we will have to wait until the report comes back.

We had the doctor's appointment immediately after and was unable to see Dr. Hall but got to see his partner, Dr. Monica. It's probably a good thing because I had a HUGE bone to pick with him! She was giggling when she walked in, the nurse giggled and even the receptionist giggled when we left. Giggle, giggle, neither Blaine or I was giggling. I guess I'm a little naive but I assumed that being pregnant with twins wasn't any different than having one except that I would have them a little earlier but Dr. Monica immediately dispelled me of that notion. I asked what we were looking at as far as care and what I should do and as she was talking the panic attack began.

Bed rest at Week 25
Steroid shots at Week 25
Doctor appointments every other week
Plan on staying in IF for a month or so. Victor was too far away.
Obviously, hope for the full 38 weeks but with my size and depending how I stick to bed rest, we are looking at Week 32-34 for delivery.
Expect the baby, no babies to stay in hospital for as many weeks as they are early. (Born at 34 weeks...stay in hospital for 4 weeks)
Stress tests for the babies not me. Which Blaine told the doctor that the stress tests wouldn't be needed because he can already tell her that my stress is out of control. The doctor said, "No, Blaine, the babies need the stress tests." Oops!
Last but not least, I am going to be very uncomfortable.

Wow, that's a lot of cold water splashed into your face! I'm pretty sure that both Blaine & I left that office without an ounce of color in our faces. We immediately began calling family. We called Sam while still in the doctor's office and after Blaine convinced him that there were TWO baby brothers in his future, he so poetically stated, "Holy Shit!" Blaine said he heard the teacher in the background reprimand him slightly.How can you get mad at that when you are thinking the very same thing! I'm sure Mrs. Mckee understood after hearing the news because she and Sam proceeded to tell the whole school about the twins.Which by the way, this will be the 3rd set of twins closely related to an employee of Victor Elementary. I guess even substitute teachers (Me) are not immune!

We got a variety or reactions:

Mom-speechless.She is finally without words!!
Dad-giggle (More freakin' giggling) Just kidding, Dad. Love you.
Rich & Betty-Disbelief. Thought Blaine was kidding. Then yelling on the phone. I could hear them from across the car!
Grandpa Zohner-Laughing and mentioning that there will be 3 Sams. Thanks, Gramps! DUH!!! Why do you think I was crying!?!
Grandma-Excited but kind of drugged.She was getting her Carpal Tunnel surgery right after.
Summer & Rob (Jade's parents)-Can't quite explain their excitement enough. They are VERY, VERY excited to share not one but two babies.
Jade- Kept asking and patting my belly. TWO brothers? Are you sure? Is one going to have to live with me?
Grandma Jones and Wayne-She thought I was having a girl. Boy, did we really prove her wrong! She was excited but immediately began with the lectures about taking care of myself. She was an RN for a long time.
Jenny-She thought I was kidding. Boy, there are moments that I wish I were.

It was great telling everyone such good news and the different reactions that we got.

I have to say for me being the emotional one of Blaine & I, I held it together for quite awhile until we were in the mall and we walked by a lady that had those double strollers and two boys at different ages. Both were crying hysterically, then I started crying hysterically along with them. I couldn't stop, I couldn't move and I couldn't breathe. People were looking at me. They were looking at Blaine. I'm sure they are wondering what the heck he did to me and the poor mother came over to me and asked if I was okay. That was embarrassing. I think she thought something horrendous happened but I told her why and she laughed and said, "Good luck, sweetie. I think you will need it."

I'm still in complete state of shock and there are moments that I find myself smiling and the butterflies start and then the next moment, tears and panic attacks. Blaine tells me that it will be okay and then the next minute we reverse roles and I'm the one consoling.

After all this time and after the post regarding why I think God made us wait for so long, I GET IT! I truly get it!It was because there were going to be twins! Blaine mentioned that maybe we bugged him for so long and so much for a while there that he decided to shut us up with a bang!

Truly, though, we couldn't be happier. Our family will be more complete than we ever thought possible. We will have 5 people sitting at our table not just the lonely 3. Talk about the biggest news of our life!

Say What!!!!

2010-04-19T20:03:00.001-06:00

During home baseball practice:

Me: "Sam, square up to the base. Make your chest face the base."

Sam: "Okay... put my doodle in front of the base! Like I'm peeing on it! Can I try it?"

Me: "Um, no! NO,NO,SAM, ZIP UP YOUR PANTS!"

Oh, the day in the life of Sam. Gotta love him!

Adjusting

2010-04-11T17:57:00.001-06:00

We are starting Week 3 of Blaine having to go to Pocatello or Salt Lake to work. He was laid of the end of March and we thank our lucky stars that some of our family needed work done. For the past two weeks, he has been in Pocatello with his cousin Tara & Justin, which allowed him to come home on the weekend. But this week he is going to Salt Lake where his Uncle Tom has Blaine working on finishing a basement. Tom has not seen Blaine since he was about 15 years old and for him to hear about Blaine needing work and actually giving him something to do is nothing short of amazing. He is truly our angel. We could not thank him enough. Actually, thank you to our "other" angels in the family for the help you have given us, when not even asked. We will forever be grateful.

However, there is a downside to having Blaine not home every night and this is it.

Sam is utterly heartbroken. Since 5:00 this morning, he has been trying to be tough and hide his tears from his dad but they just keep rolling down his face. When Blaine left this afternoon, I came upstairs to find Sam sobbing as he is watching his dad drive away. I think this will be the toughest time because Blaine will not actually be coming home until the day before Sam's birthday. To tell you the truth, we are all mental midgets this time. It will be the longest we have been apart…ever.

Till the 24th, I will continue to try and keep Sam busy and hopefully the time will go by quickly. For all involved.

Love you, Blaine and thank you for making such a huge sacrifice for this family. You are truly a wonderful husband and father.

It's Spring Somewhere

2010-04-11T17:32:00.000-06:00

Sam has been bugging me for the past couple of weeks to put up his tramp but the idea of trudging through snow, gave me the shivers. So finally when Blaine came home for the weekend, the tramp was installed. We used to have the cage up to prevent the boys from flying to the ground but after years of sun, it found its way to the garbage. So, needless to say, Momma is a freakin' mess. Why?!?! I never had a net keeping me from the ground. I still survived. But this is my baby!!!!

He has been trying to perfect his front flip for years.But until then.....

My Little Man

2010-04-07T08:03:00.002-06:00

Just when I thought that Sam was never going to get any freckles, they showed up. I absolutely adore them! He may act, think, talk and look like Blaine but at least there is some evidence that he is also my child. Unfortunately, I cannot get them to show up on the camera but did end up taking a great picture of him. After seeing this picture, I can honestly say that he is no longer a my little boy but my little man.

And as usual, where ever Sam is, Oz is never too far away. In this case, he is waiting ever so patiently in the bathroom.

Easter Weekend

2010-04-07T07:47:00.002-06:00

Sam was quite the downer when it came to Easter this year. He was totally unenthused about everything; dying eggs, Easter decorations, even the Easter Bunny. He could have cared less. No amount of nagging could convince him that those things should be fun. What he did care about was his Grandpa Richard was up for the weekend. We didn't see him but for a few moments every day, just long enough to get clean clothes and he was out of here! Saturday night, Blaine & I tried to get him to stay the night so the Easter Bunny could find him and he told us that the Easter Bunny can take my basket to someone else. WHAT!!!!! He is only seven. What little boy at that age would give away his basket? Lucky for him, the Easter Bunny did leave Sam's basket here and Sam found it when he came over for breakfast.

This is the best smile I could get from him! Since his "grown-up" teeth have come in pretty crooked, he refuses to smile. Vain little bugger! It must be a Blaine trait!! HA, HA, HA!

Grow little seeds, Grow!

2010-04-07T07:21:00.003-06:00

So it's that time of year again, when I start planting seeds in my beautiful greenhouse. Blaine made my greenhouse for me for Mother's Day quite a few years ago and it is my sanctuary. Whatever is bothering me I can go into my greenhouse and suddenly worries disappear. In January, I usually start perusing the Gurney's catalog for fun new things to plant and the tried and true favorites. The first of March I start planting but this year I didn't get my seeds until the end of March because Gurney's decided that it was not the right season to plant them yet. Really!??! I had no idea but once I explained I had a greenhouse, they sent them right away. Last year, I plant everything I could get my hands on; cabbage, squash, pumpkins, tomatoes galore, watermelon and every type of flower you can imagine. This year however, I decided to scale back—A LOT! Sam and I planted only tomatoes, watermelon and dahilas. That's it. My greenhouse looks like Mother Hubbard's cupboard but considering that I am growing the ultimate seed, I think I can cut myself some slack.

This is unfortunately the only picture I got. My camera battery decided to die right after this. I hate that!

Okay, I think I get it!

2010-03-12T12:53:00.000-07:00

I had always wondered if God thought that Blaine & I weren't worthy enough to have more than one child. I could not grasp why He had not blessed us with another healthy pregancy or a baby. Blaine and I tried so hard to prove to him that we were worthy which at times costs us emotionally everything we had. I just could not understand. I cried, I threw fits, I cussed, I pleaded, and even at my worst I tried to bargain but still nothing. Then out of the blue, the doctor said, "You are pregnant!" Those words were something I had dreamed about but thought that those words were only going to be a dream. I admit at first I was a little unsure of being pregnant after eight years. I was sick, grouchy and tired and I thought that there is no way I could do this.

However, as my little baby has grown, I began to get it. Perhaps, God wanted to make sure I truly was ready for this blessing and I could fully grasp the magnitude of this miracle. Maybe, He wanted me to be older and stronger. I admit the saying, "What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger" really applies here. Maybe, here is our little miracle so that we can store the cord blood and help Blaine with his awful disease. I may never know but I really like those reasons.

As my belly has grown and I struggle to fit into my clothes, all I can think is that we must have done something right and this baby and pregnacy will NEVER be taken for granted.

The Chore Bucket

2010-03-06T18:09:00.000-07:00

Blaine & I have been struggling to teach Sam the importance of responsibility and how the harder you work, the greater the rewards. So, with my beloved Cricut I created a chore bucket. Since I cannot find a cartridge that has excavation equipment (Dear, Cricut....I would LOVE, LOVE an equipment cartridge)I had to resort to dinosaurs. On each item there is a chore that needs to be done and when a week of chores have been done, Sam gets to pick out a reward from the box. I typed up rewards that do not cost anything but my time and placed them in a cheap little wood box. Sam loves it and actually does his chores. If only I had done this, oh, about 2 years ago!

My Boys

2010-03-06T17:51:00.000-07:00

I just have to say that I LOVE these two! Blaine & Sam took a "Boy's Day" and went skiing at Grand Targhee. They had tons of fun and both were exhausted when they got home. I actually think they made it the whole day without bickering,which in their case, is a huge deal! Gotta love the battle of the wills!

The little yellow pill

2010-02-25T18:00:00.001-07:00

Since my last post, I have struggled to come to the reality that I am pregnant. I never would have thought that I would be here again! I, along with my family and friends, put us on the One Child Shelf and let us gather dust. I guess, God decided that He would bless us with a baby when we no longer bothered Him about it! My mom thinks that He waited because He was going to give me my houseful of kids all in one pregnancy. I'm not sure if that was a hopeful thought or a Be Careful What You Wish For statement.

Every morning I would awake thinking I just had one more of those stupid pregnancy dreams and reality would slap me in the face but no slap came and the morning sickness hit me full force instead. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. Okay, I might have felt sorry for myself as I spent more time on the bathroom floor than anywhere else in the house but deep down I was thrilled. There would be so many people that would gladly take my place. It is just that I breezed through Sam's pregnancy that this came to a complete surprise.

I felt so bad for Sam and especially Blaine because I was WORTHLESS. Laundry didn't get down---I had to go downstairs for that! Meals didn't get cooked—the thought of food made me sick! The house was a disaster—Cleaning? Forget about it! Blaine, the sweet, still grinning like an idiot man, did everything for me. I love that guy! Sam would even try to control his "boy" functions, so as to not make me sick. Anyone knowing him knows that that was quite a feat! They were saints but after 3 weeks of me being non-stop sick, it had run its course. Finally, I convinced my doctor than I didn't have fifteen pounds to lose and if she didn't give me something; my boys were going to trade me in for a better model. So TADA—the wonderful little anti-nausea medicine! I have found my new love!

So long story short—I am feeling better and now let the baby excitement begin! I still find myself making plans for a big garden, horse riding and water skiing when I look down at my baby bump (Yes, I already have one!) I realize that those things will have to wait for next year. J Bring on the baby!

A Feather and a Happy Dance

2010-02-01T18:48:00.000-07:00

Last week a feather knocked Blaine & I right on our butts. Not just gently but the full blown shove. We have the bruised butt cheeks to prove it!

I had resigned to the fact that it wasn't going to happen and short of a few pity party days, I was great with it. No more diapers, all nighters and bottles. We were officially a fly by the seat of our pants family(Well, as much as I could fly by the seat of my pants!).

I hadn't been feeling very good and I finally made the decision to get my hysterectomy that I had been needing. I made the appointment to get scheduled and after talking to the doctor, he suggested an ultrasound to figure out the problem before he got started. Come to find out, I was feeling crappy because I was pregnant. AAAHHHH!

The emotions were and still are very confusing. One moment, I am excited and the next I am filled with----well, I don't know what you would call it. I am so very, very grateful but I am not prepared to start over again. I am scared. Like first time mommy scared!

When I blubbered to Blaine the news, he got this stupid little smirk that at the moment made me furious. How could he smile? Where is heaven's name are we going to put the baby? Does he realize that we will be 50 when they graduate? It's all his fault! Okay, not really, it was my problem that miraculously fixed itself but at the moment it sounded good. Bless his heart, he stood there the whole time and let me vent, then cry, then giggle.

As for the "happy" dance, just find Blaine or Sam and they will be more than happy to do it for you. I truly think they channel Steve Carrell in Evan Almighty!

Evan Almighty Happy Dance

Eating my words!

2010-01-26T06:10:00.002-07:00

So last whining post, I was commenting on rather talking to kids about the birds and the bees than MS. Well, I got my wish with my very own little boy.

It started out as innocent questions.

Question- How do babies get here?

Answer- Heavenly Father

Question- How do the babies come out?

Answer- The doctor

Basic right?!? Then the doozy after a Saturday drive with Grandma & Grandpa Zohner and getting to view Mother Nature in her glory.

How come the daddy elk (Sam's hips going in and out) on the back of the momma elk?

WHAT!!!!! A boy's hips SHOULD NOT do that yet!

Questions now.

Question- But I can't make babies with doing this (motion) how can animals do it? Was that how I was made?

Answer- STOP THAT! It's disgusting! Um, um, BLAINE, HELP!!!!!

I take everything I said back. EVERYTHING!

How Do We Begin?

2010-01-21T21:03:00.000-07:00

Lately, Blaine has been having some difficulties with his Multiple Sclerosis. Some have been scary, what the heck, they are all scary but others have been just the day to day problems. Unfortunately, Sam has been a witness to a couple of them and has grown up enough to know what is normal and what is not. Before the simple answer of, "Daddy, is okay. Please don't worry." has turned into...well..I'm not sure what to say. We have tried the bare basics but bless his heart, he wants to know more and more.

How do I begin to explain to our dear little boy what MS is. Blaine and I have both said that there are going to be days that Dad isn't going to be able to "rough house", days that Dad is really tired, and days where Daddy needs to go see the doctor. Sam, however, wants to know why, how come and all the nitty gritty details. Personally, I would rather have the birds and the bees talk with him than the MS talk. For those who know me, that's a big dang deal!

Today, I was finally able to find information on how to talk to children about this horrible disease and hopefully that will help. I did read several times to include the child into the therapy process so tonight Sam gave Blaine his shot.

I had such mixed feelings. First, I was heart broken that Sam has to deal with this $%#% at all. Nobody should have to deal with this...ever. Second, I was so proud of him. He was a trooper and now wants to give Blaine his shots everyday. Third, I was so happy that we have a little boy that is as caring as he is.

He was so thrilled that he is "helping" Dad that he called Grandma Jones tonight to tell her that he is going to be a nurse like her so he can make Dad better.That started the tears! I could barely talk to Grandma enough to tell her why the sudden interest. I told her what was going on with Sam asking a whole bunch of questions and how devastated I was that we had to even have this conversation. I was crying, Grandma was crying over both her sweet little boys and then true to Grandma Jones form, she flipped a switch and said, "Okay, that's enough. Now buck up. Tell those boys I am proud of them and quit your crying. I can't fix it over the phone." Gotta love her!

So for now, we will take baby steps in introducing Sam to MS. How exactly? I'm not sure but just one question at a time. Which brings me to the question, "Does anyone need a "birds and bees talk"? I'll trade ya! I am truly kidding!

Can’t get any funny than this!

2010-01-16T17:28:00.000-07:00

I was searching for something and came across this on YouTube. I don’t think I have laughed this hard in a long time. Sam asked, “Momma, who are those guys?” I had to enlighten him for the next few hours of the art of Muppets. AH, memories of my childhood and I still have my lunch box!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgbNymZ7vqY

Love It!

2010-01-16T05:52:00.000-07:00

This picture reminds me so much of Sambo that it makes me cry. It is the epitamy of my sweet little boy. He enjoys everything (except school) and seems to take everything in. Perhaps he took this very walk.

Really?!?!

2010-01-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

You migt notice the extremely "boy" background. You can thank my little boy for that. I was trying to change my background and Sam noticed this one and told me that I HAD to change it to this because that way everyone knows that he likes "quipment". Really?!? You know that about him in the first two seconds of meeting him but I'll humor him for a week or so!

Mo

2010-01-10T08:02:00.000-07:00

I came across this picture and thought I would share.

One of "Those" Days

2010-01-07T05:15:00.002-07:00

It's 3:00 a.m.! You've got to be kidding me! I was sleeping so soundly when I woke up with a start. I have no idea what I was dreaming about but I do know that I woke up crying. Then I started cry about something that I have been pretty good lately about stuffing into the back of my mind. Thank you, medication. I'm a fan!

I have been dragging my feet and I am finally starting to make some sort of plans for the future. I hate it! Most people would shake their heads and say that I was crazy and I should look forward to it. Yea, right!

This isn't what Blaine & I had in mind. Nothing remotely similar. We were going to have a house full of kids.(Yes, my family, a house full!) I was going to be ready to go back out into the world full of ambitions for myself. Yet, here I am 31 years old and dreading what life is going to bring me and what I must do. I feel so imcomplete.This is NOT how it is supposed to be!

I write in my little Blessings Journal every night for the day's blessings and I have so much to be thankful for. At times, I can even see through my own thunderclouds to see perhaps why Blaine & I have only Sam. Sam IS a handful full of energy and lately, a lot of attitude that I might not be able to remain sane with another one. With Blaine having MS, another child might not be a great idea financially. During those times, I can see some reasoning but today is NOT one of those days!

Yes, Sam is a handful and his attitude lately has made me want to pull every single hair out but he is so full of life. I hate to break my own arm but Blaine & I have done a great job so far with him. He is caring and selfless towards others. He already is a hard little worker and would do anything anyone asks except clean his room. He is loved by a lot of people and that collection just gets bigger and bigger as he ventures farther out into the world. I could have and would have handled another one-even a carbon copy of Sam.Today is one of those days that I think I could conquer 10 of them.

As with Blaine, my worst fear is that if or when Blaine gets to the point that we all dread, he looks at me and says that his only desire was that he wanted more kids and that would have made his life complete. It's my fault that we can't seem to get and stay pregnant and that breaks my heart. I'm sure that he never blames me but I blame myself enough for the both of us. I pray that never happens but I have always been the Queen of What-ifs.Today is one of those days where I will wear my crown.

Yes, I have come to the realization that there are not going to be more children. Do I accept it? I'm starting to a little more each day but until I completely accept it and I pray that I will someday, I am going to have one of those days.

Cheers

2010-01-04T06:53:00.000-07:00

As you can see from my last post, Sam was sick over Christmas vacation, so I won't bore you with the horrible pictures and the temper tantrum on video. let's just say not pretty! I felt so bad for him but I think he had a pretty good Christmas anyway.

On Christmas Eve, we had an extremely pathetic dinner of frozen pizza and Ben & Jerry's ice cream, while eating on the couch (GASP!)and watching The Christmas Story. When I suggested that we eat on the couch, Sam kept looking at me like I had lost my chicken. I don't think I have ever let him eat anywhere but the table. The table, mind you, is just five feet away, with the t.v. within eye shot, so I AM NOT the world's meanest mom!

Christmas morning, everyone came for breakfast and present unwrapping. We all recieved wonderful gifts but I think my ultimate favorite was giving Mom her present. I have worked on this project for, count them, 13 YEARS! It has been the project from Hell and I was so glad to get it done. I could not get out a spot of blood and a dirt mark but it proves that blood, sweat and a lot of tears went into it.Despite Sam and Wayne telling her what she was getting, I think she was quite surprised to see it in her package.I took a picture of it but for the life
of me, I cannot find it, so you'll just have to believe me on how great it looks.

The rest of the day, we vegetated on the couch and watched movies. It was so nice to have the stress of the holiday over that I slept most of the day. It was DELIGHTFUL!

The rest of the vacation was a repeat of a repeat of Christmas Day. I think Blaine watch hours and hours of football, while Sam and I played hours and hours of Wii. All in all, a great vacation.

However, reality must come sooner than later, so this morning, I woke up at 5:00 to make a lunch and send my poor husband back to his job and Sam back to school. I think I'll sleep all day, eat bon bons and watch soap operas---Right, I wish!

Cheers to a New Year!

My sickies

2009-12-24T07:52:00.000-07:00

There were two very sick little boys lounging around my house yesterday. Poor Sam & Jade both have horrible colds for Christmas! Gosh dang it! They laid around all day long with fevers, coughing and the occasional throwing up. All they could say was,"Momma, I don't want to be sick for Christmas!" and then they would cry and want to huggle.

My sensitive little Sam was concerned about getting Santa sick and asked if he could come another night.I told him that Santa was superpower tough and he didn't get sick but I am pretty sure he doesn't believe me because he keeps spraying Lysol everywhere he goes.

Since there are going to be little babies around at Kent & Ava's, we have decided that we are going to stay home tonight.This will be the first Christmas Eve that I have ever stayed home for. I always thought that it might be relaxing but now that I am staying home, I am really sad. I'm trying to figure out what we could do that would be fun but other than playing games and watching movies, I am stumped. Hopefully, Sam will enjoy whatever we do.

Merry Christmas, everyone! May all your family be healthy for your Christmas!

My term of endearment for today

2009-12-16T08:11:00.001-07:00

Once in awhile there comes a time that this is appropriate.

I love my dear husband but this morning I could just beat him to a bloody pulp. He, as usual, is of no help with Christmas. He likes to crack the whip but when it comes down to it, help isn't something that he can do. I mean a foreman of a company stoop down to help the grunts? Unheard of!

He is taking the day off today due to Sam's program and I asked him to take Sam to the bus stop because I was busy trying to finish my last present.

He replied, " I can't. I have to feed the horses, eat breakfast, take my shot.... yadda, yadda. You'll have to take him. Oh, and by the way did you finish the present this morning and you need to make more coffee, feed the dogs and pick the underwear out of my butt crack ? OK-I added the underwear part.It's hard to figure out where his butt crack is---I thought he was all ass! It's all gotta be done this morning."

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Here's to you, my dear!

Finally!!!

2009-12-14T07:01:00.000-07:00

Matt finally asked Sheena to marry him this weekend! Now I can look forward to having nieces and nephews!!! Nieces preferably!! I'm already to shower her with pink, ruffles and everything girlie! I'll take a nephew too. Gotta continue the van Leerdam legacy!

Congrats, guys! We love you!

Duh! Serious dumb moment

2009-12-14T06:56:00.000-07:00

So I did a really, really stupid thing yesterday morning. I am so proud of all the gifts I made this year that I took pictures of them and actually posted them on my blog! So for all of you that seen your Christmas presents (BTW, it's pretty obvious), FORGET!! Please!

It's a Boy!

2009-12-09T08:00:00.001-07:00

Okay, so not an actual "boy" but close enough for us.

Sam got an early Christmas present from Grandma Tammie, Blaine & I. We have had him for 3 weeks now and trying to get good pictures of both Oz and Sam are nearly impossible. If Sam isn't moving, Oz is. And yes, his name is Ozzy, after Ozzy Osbourne. I am so proud. I have trained him right in the music department!! However, when Sam named him permanently, he said," Momma, don't worry this Oz won't do drugs or bite heads off bats!" Whew, I was worried!

It has been so good for Sam to have a puppy. He now has a responsibility and someone to keep the lonely's away.No more tears at bedtime for the wanted brother or in desperation, a sister.So I guess you can say, the Oz man, is good for all of us.

Heart of Gold

2009-12-09T07:46:00.000-07:00

It is no surprise that in this economy there are some people in dire straits with the unavailbility of work and their unemployment has run out.The men at Blaine's employer are no different. One week there is work, the next there isn't. Blaine has been fortunate enough to work steadily but his crew has not. There are people on his crew that have been with him since Blaine was in high school and they are like family to us. My dear husband worries about them constantly. He has been giving meat out of our freezer, having me buy extra groceries and packing extra lunches, even finding various jobs for them to do with other companies.

At time like these, I really realize that much more that Blaine has a heart of gold. He would do anything for anyone, even at his health's expense. I am so thankful that he is my husband. Not only is he concerned about us but others.How did I get so lucky? I love you lots, Blainer.

Me, minus the curlers!

2009-11-30T17:35:00.000-07:00

This picture is totally me! I am in a full blown panic mode! Christmas is just 25 days away and I am FREAKING out!

Every year, I start months ahead of time making and planning Christmas presents. Every year, at this time, I panic, I cry, I pull my hair. Why do I always insist on making my presents by hand? I must be insane. No matter how early I start, I still end up in a panic. I still have---count them---five presents to make! There is just not enough hours in the day.......

........Wait.........perhaps I really should get off the computer and get my butt to crafting!

The smell that takes my breath away

2009-11-30T17:17:00.000-07:00

Today as I was sitting in my favorite chair enjoying the warm sun streaming through my windows, I smelled my Grandpa Marion. It's a smell that I haven't smelled for twenty six years but I would know it anywhere. It came completely out of the blue and it took my breath away. How I miss him. I miss sitting next to him in his chair by the stove with him drinking his coffee out of his yellow mug and me eating roll after roll of Certs from his pocket.

Bumpy's chair

I miss everything about him.

I want to believe with all my heart that he was with me today.Even if it was for a small moment, I hope he was sitting next to me.

Shootin' Pumpkins

2009-11-22T18:42:00.000-07:00

Instead of pumpkin pies, we make a pumpkin mess! Instead of seeing them rot on the deck, we blow them to smitherings!

Not a happy camper about having to pose for camera!

Ready, set, fire!

AH, isn't that cute? Father & son bonding!

The end product.

Lots better than pumpkin pie!

Thankful

2009-11-10T17:18:00.000-07:00

Dad had his elliostomy recconnected yesterday and as of tonight, he is doing really well. The poor guy hasn't ate or drank since Sunday night but other than that he looks and acts like he feels great.It has been a long six months for Dad but now he can look forward to a "bag-free" life! We love you Dad!

Besides being very thankful for Dad still being in our lives, today and for the rest of my life, I will be so very thankful for the doctors and the nurses at Madison Memorial Hospital. They were and have been a Godsend for all the care that they have put into Dad. I can never fully explain the gratitude that I have for the kindness they have all shown towards him and my family. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

The "Piggies" are here!

2009-11-10T16:42:00.000-07:00

It all started on Sunday with a sore throat by last night Sam had a really high fever. In fact, he was so delirious that "Numbers are chasing me!". Talk about scare the hell of out Blaine & I. Today, it's official Sam has the Swine Flu.

After the doctor's appointment, I was explaining to Sam what he had and I said that he has the piggy flu. Talk about tipping of one's trike over.

"Momma, I have the swine flu not the piggy flu! Pigs get the piggy flu! Didn't you listen?"

Gosh, I guess not. I stand corrected.

Whose desk is this?

2009-11-03T07:32:00.000-07:00

Saturday, during the carnival, I volunteered to help with the class game. I spent a half hour watching a wheel go around and around and around. Thank goodness it was just a half hour, it seemed like an eternity. Anyway, after the carnival ended I was responsible for cleaning up the classroom and putting things where they belonged. With Sam & Blaine's help, we started putting the desks back where they belong. laine & I would come to a desk and ask where so and so is. Sam would let us know and we would move onto the next. I came to a desk where papers were overflowing and any movement would send papers, pencils and everything else flying.

Me-"What a pig pen! Look at this, Blaine. Some people's children! They should really teach their children the importance of cleanliness! Sam, whose horrible desk is this?"

Sam (with a sheepish look)-"It's------mine. But you were never supposed to see it!"

Crap! That's what I get for judging! My own boy, whose room is never really messy, has a desk that looks like Hurrican Katrina landed in it. BAD PARENTS! I should really teach Sam the importance of cleanliness and also on not judging! I am going to my room now and thinking about what I have done.:(

OOPS!

2009-11-03T07:17:00.000-07:00

Of all the good things that I could have passed down to Sam, he chose to actually have my hatred for Halloween. I was fine with just me hating it but not my little boy,little kids should like dressing up and getting candy.

I tried for a couple of months to get Sam excited about a new costume but no he wanted to be Jack Sparrow AGAIN! Which was great, I didn't do anything. Needless to say, on Thursday night (the night before the school party), there was mass hysteria on my part because I could not find his costume anywhere. I searched and searched. I cried and cried. What a horrible mother! I wait until the very last minute and then I'm suprised I can't find them! Duh! All during that time Sam is patting my back saying, "It's okay, Momma. I didn't want to dress up anyway." WHAT! He has to like Halloween, he has to! Anyway, after one last attempt of looking I found it minus a boot cover.

Friday-We planned on going trick or treating to the family but Sam was against it. "Momma, they have already see this costume. Let's stay home."

Saturday-He was invited to go to the Trunk or Treat with Jen and the kids. "Momma, it's just candy. I want to stay home." Blaine & I convinced him that the carnival would be fun but after 10 minutes he was ready to go.

I'll try next year to get him excited for Halloween because I WILL NOT accept that I have passed my dislike onto him.

We'll be missing you

2009-10-19T07:28:00.001-06:00

It's that time of year again when Grandma leaves for Overton. Sam and I's world evolves around her when she is here for the summer and it's not the same until she comes back in the spring.

From the after school treats for Sam to the cup of tea for me, we enjoy spending time with her everyday. I will miss the cup of tea and visits during the day and Sam will definitely miss the homemade bread and oreos after school. She was the highlight of our days and already we are counting down the days until the end of May.

For nine years now, I have been watching Grandma leave and it still doesn't get easier. I still cry as I watch her and Ava drive down the rode and I still cry after I talk to her on the phone. I am hopelessly attached.

Until next spring, we will be missing you, Grandma. Hugs and kisses!

The Last of Summer

2009-10-01T07:33:00.006-06:00

Last night in the middle of a snow storm, I was out in my garden cutting the last of my beautiful flowers. I hate this time of year when my garden starts to die and I have to wait another 9 months or more to work in it again. I thought I would show proof that summer was actually here, because.......

Can you say crap!!!

WTF!

2009-10-01T07:18:00.004-06:00

What The Fall!!! What were you thinking?!?!

Last Sunday, Blaine & I went on a marathon horse ride to Rob Kincaid's camp. I have never been in the south mountains and it was absolutely gorgeous! The colors were amazing and my camera just doesn't do it justice.

What the Fun!

It was great to be able to just spend time with just Blaine. We don't get to do that often and it was a nice change.

Blaine is usually quite serious and doesn't let the playful side show very often. I caught him conducting the little drummer inside his head. I love it when he lets the funny side show through. Here is actual proof that the playful side does exist (he didn't know I was taking pictures!).

Thank for the fun time, Blaine. I love you lots and lots!

Kleenex, please.

2009-09-27T00:46:00.004-06:00

What can I say about this book other than it is 1:30 a.m. and I finished it two hours ago and I am still crying.......and crying.....and crying.

Very inspirational and I suggest that everyone should read it. I could only hope that I would have that much faith and fortitude to do what the Mormon pioneers did in trying settle new areas all because we were asked by God. I struggle with the little bitty everyday things.

A few years ago, Blaine & I had the opportunity to see the "Hole in the Rock". In our stupidity, we hiked up the crevice expecting to see a "hole". Well, needless to say, it's not a "hole". Here's our sign! After reading the story at the top we started realizing that the marks on the walls were from wagons and that people actually went down this awful area. Nobody said we were up on our church history! However, until I read this book, I didn't fully grasp the faith and perserverance the pioneers had.

I highly suggest this book, even if you are not Mormon, the feats that these people accomplished are awe inspiring.

If you don't believe me, read the following that I got from the Amazon website.

Review

One of the greatest things about my job is that I often get to read and work on some of our most anticipated books long in advance of their release dates. And one of my most exciting projects of the year has just gone to press and will be out the first week of August. Gerald N. Lund is one of those amazing authors who can interweave true historical events with fictional characters to create a spellbinding story that actually teaches something at the same time. Thousands of people said The Work and the Glory got them fascinated with Church history for the first time. For me, Fire of the Covenant had that same effect: I knew the story of the handcart pioneers (or thought I did), but it became REAL to me when I experienced it through the eyes of Lund s characters. And now, after a seven-year hiatus, he s done it again in The Undaunted. The subject this time is even less familiar, but in some ways that makes the story even more compelling. Before I read this book, I knew a tiny bit about the Hole-in-the-Rock pioneer expedition. I didn t know it was a projected six-week trip that turned into a six-month saga of determination and sacrifice, with a good handful of miracles sprinkled in. I didn t stop to consider that people who had already given up everything, some of them multiple times, were asked to do it again, leaving comfortable homes and businesses to travel to a desolate corner of the territory and stand as a buffer between civilization and lawlessness. I didn t understand that our pioneer heritage extends far beyond the trek across the plains; it has been carried out again and again in the lives of people who have laid everything they have and are on the altar of the Lord so that His kingdom can go forward. This is what The Undaunted is to me: so much more than a good story, although it is that. It is so much more than an engaging and heart-clenching read, although it s that, too. It is a testimony to me of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and the courageous Saints who laid its foundations. It is our story. --Emily Watts, editor, Deseret Book Company

Product Description

The journey was impossible. But they had no other choice. At the call of their prophet, they left well-established farms and businesses to strike out yet again into the untamed wilderness. A small band of men, women, and children formed the 1879 pioneer company. Their mission: stand as a buffer between lawlessness and civilization. Their road: only what they created themselves, blasting out a perilous trail over slick rock and through desolate cliffs. Their hearts: UNDAUNTED When it comes to creating spellbinding historical fiction, nobody does it quite like Gerald N. Lund. In The Undaunted, he transports readers first to the coal mines of Yorkshire, then across the ocean and the plains to the territory of Utah, where, even in 1879, there is pioneering to be done. A little- known and perhaps even less- appreciated chapter in the Church s history comes to life in this gripping story of a stalwart group of Saints called to create a settlement to serve as a buffer between the established communities of Utah and the lawless frontier of the Four Corners area. Their challenge will be enormous but the biggest part of it just may be getting there in the first place. Skillfully interweaving historical figures and events with fictional characters, Gerald Lund takes us through the Hole in the Rock and over miles of uncharted country that even today is impassable without all- terrain vehicles. His account of the adventure, romance, and sacrifices of these undaunted pioneers will resonate with readers who love a good story as well as those who want to better understand the incomparable legacy and unconquerable faith of those valiant Saints.

All Alone

2009-09-26T19:44:00.005-06:00

Okay, so Sam is at Grandma Tammie's tonight and what are Blaine & I doing? Blaine's downstairs watching football, I'm upstairs watching chick flicks! Can you tell we have been married awhile?

If someone would have told me when I got married that there would come a time when Blaine & I would spend time apart within the same house, I would have told them that they are out of their mind! But here we are in seperate rooms! Go figure!

I was at Cassie Egbert's wedding tonight and it was absolutely beautiful. She was gorgeous as always and the couple looked so happy. I'm happy for them but I wouldn't trade them places for anything! The wedded bliss was nice but at least now Blaine & I are comfortable with each other and our squabbles are at a minimum. It's wonderful! Maybe I'm crazy but the first few years of marriage were not the greatest....these years are the greatest!

It's wonderful to know that I can go downstairs in a ratty old t-shirt and holey sweats and Blaine will still love me and find me beautiful.

Again and again

2009-09-21T07:19:00.004-06:00

So for the next month or so you will continue to see our events in hunting camp. Our whole family's lives revolve around it. We look forward to fall every year and some literally count down the days till then. So if you are sick of hunting camp pictures, you may want to check back in around the 1st of November!

his last weekend, Blaine, Matt, Sheena & I rode into hunting camp on horses. Since I am new to horseback riding and haven't seen all the trails, they took me on the Grove Creek trail. It was absolutely stunning. The leaves are changing colors and canyon walls surround you. It took my breath away.

We had a great time, except the underground hornet nest that Matt & Sheena found. They and their horses got stung but luckily no one was seriously hurt. Blaine called in a love sick coyote that followed us quite a ways in the dark. It was only a few yards from us and you'd think with the dogs and the horses, it would have figured out that we weren't coyotes but love shows no boundaries. Blaine has a girlfriend!!!! One that I am not jealous about either!

Summer brought in a horse that all the kids rode. He is the cutest little thing ever. Roy let the kids lead him around and around all weekend. Kids fell off of him, adults fell off of him and he just kept a truckin'. What an angel.

It was a lot fun this weekend but coming home and having a shower was heaven. Nothing like two and a half days of dirt to make you appreciate running water!

Miss Addilyn Shay

2009-09-21T06:54:00.003-06:00

As of September 19, we have a new member of the Jones clan, Miss Addilyn Shay!

Carissa and Brandon have truly made a beautiful girl! Today, they will be home and I cannot wait to hold her. I love the feeling and the smell of a new baby, nothing is better in the whole world.

I have to admit I was really upset about the news that Carissa was pregnant. I couldn't imagine why God would give a baby to someone who wasn't ready for one when there was a couple just across the yard that would dearly love one. I struggled month after month to just excited for Brandon and Carissa and not extremely jealous and I eventually even got to rub her belly without having to leave the room for the fear of tears falling down my cheeks. I can say it was a nine month work in progress but I got there.

Last night we got the news that Addilyn was born and both Blaine & I sat on the couch and had a pity party( 2 pints of Ben & Jerry's). Tonya told us that the pictures were on Facebook and either of us could stand to look at them just yet, however, at midnight we both got up looked at the pictures and fell head over heals in love with her! She is absolutely beautiful and I know with absolute certainty that God didn't make a mistake, Addilyn is where she belongs. I can't say that a very small part of me isn't jealous but there is a whole big part that is so excited for her to be here and so happy for Carissa and Brandon, truly.

Last night as I was trying to get to sleep, I was counting my blessings and came across a blessing that I hadn't really realized before. This weekend, I was able to send Sam off with this Grandpa Daryl to go into hunting camp while Blaine, Matt, Sheena and I rode our horses in. I didn't have a baby to worry about, I didn't have to pack a huge diaper bag, I didn't have to stay in camp with the baby on Saturday while everyone else went on a horse ride...I had freedom. I can count that as my blessings, can't I? Sure, if someone was to hand a baby over to me, I would give up my freedom in a heart beat but this will be okay, I can learn appreciate it more and more. It will get easier. Right?

Favorite Things

2009-09-15T07:40:00.003-06:00

There are few things that Sam is absolutely in love with like his......

Grandpa Daryl

Grandma Bonnie

Grandpa Big

and Grandma Tammie

but certainly not least.....DIRT!

Sam's Beloved Tessa

2009-09-10T09:53:00.003-06:00

I think a majority of people have had at one time a favorite stuffed animal. Mine was a monkey, Matt's was a monkey and now Sam has a dog, named Tessa. She was given to him by his Grandpa & Grandma Rasmussen and it rarely ever leaves his side. She has been camping, to the hospital, the grocery store and everywhere in between. Sam absolutely adores her. Lately, Blaine has been trying to convince Sam that he is getting a little old to have a stuffed animal and it breaks Sam's heart to think of getting rid of her. Sam justifies keeping Tessa by telling his dad that since he doesn't have a brother or sister, he has to give loves to someone! That tends to finish the conversation for the night. He is such a little manipulator! He has even begun to hide Tessa, just so Blaine doesn't see her. It's kind of funny to watch Sam grab her for a quick hug and place her back in his secret spot. I have to stay out of it because I still have my monkey in my curio cabinet. There are still somedays I would still like to take him out and get a hug! So the battle between Dad and son continues and I sit in the background silently siding with Sam and his beloved Tessa.

Finally!!!

2009-09-10T09:35:00.003-06:00

After many months of having a loose tooth and a bucket full of tears because he is the last one on earth to have not lost a tooth, it FINALLY happened! Last night as I was brushing Sam's teeth (yes, clean teeth is my obsession and Sam just doesn't do it right. Pathetic, I know, but I can't help it)I loosened it up a lot with the toothbrush. It took some tears and pliers to finally get it out. I pulled it and stepped back and Sam said, "Are you going to try again?" He didn't even know that I had gotten it. I showed it to him and he started laughing and saying, "I'm so proud of me!" Sam's tears stopped and mine started. My little boy is growing up.

Union Falls

2009-09-09T07:29:00.004-06:00

This past weekend was our 2nd annual trip into Union Falls. As usual, there was a lot of laughter and fun with the exception of the rangers and their violation notices! I am pretty sure that the two forest rangers were very, very happy that we finally left the falls and nature wasn't drowned out by yelling and other shenanigans. Why is it that other people scatter when we arrive? I can't seem to figure it out!

Maybe Milo scared them off?

Spence attempting a backflip but just ended up "back-flopping"!

Just chillin' in chillin' water

Matty & Talon together which usually ends up in injuries but this time none reported. Whew!

Can you say dusty?

Sam's Maiden Voyage

2009-09-01T09:11:00.008-06:00

This last weekend, Sam took his first ride on our new horse, Merle. Sam has always liked horses but we didn't have a horse that was calm enough for him to ride by himself. Blaine & I bought this horse because he is the ultimate babysitter. For those who know me, know that I am terrified of horses and it takes a VERY calm horse for me to like them. Merle is a keeper and after this last weekend, I am a firm believer in him. Blaine, Matt, Sheena & Sam rode into our hunting camp, while I drove the four wheeler in. This story is second hand, so please bare with me. I guess during the ride everything was going well until Merle decided to take the lead. Blaine flicked the lead rope onto Merle's nose and he freaked out and started running away. All the adults started freaking out and yelling at Sam to pull back on the reins. Sam cowboy'd up and pull back and Merle stopped! I guess he was giggling the whole way and wanted to do it again. If that had been me, I would have freaked out and just bailed. Sam is fearless and I think that is a great thing in riding horses. We all are so proud of him and Sam is hooked on riding horses. Blaine couldn't be more excited.

The End of a Chapter

2009-09-01T07:07:00.004-06:00

I have been dreading this day from the moment Jade passed kindergarten screening. My boys are all in school, the house is empty and I finally have to face the fact that there will no longer be any babies or any toddlers running around. That chapter has ended.

I hate that it has ended. It isn't supposed to be this way. I should have a house full of kids! Why has God seen fit to only let one child live and all my other babies be with Him? Why, when Blaine & I have so much to love to give, did He decide that Sam was enough for us? I'm not ready for my boys to go to school. It means they are growing up and I'm not ready. I'M NOT READY!

I'm angry that I have to go out in the real world and finish school. I'm angry that I'm having to choose between what I love and what I have to do. I'm angry that Blaine's life expectancy is shorter than most and there is no knowing when or if, Blaine cannot get out of bed. I'm angry that I must have a degree in accounting and a degree in teaching just so that I may be able to support my family. I'm angry that I didn't finish school when I was younger. I'm angry that everyone keeps telling me that they are jealous that I'm able to start a new chapter. I'm jealous of them for still having babies to raise.

I will accept this, just not today. Today, I am going to feel sorry for myself and cry that it wasn't supposed to be this way. I'm going to cry when I see Sam getting on the bus. I'm going to cry when I come back to a quiet house. I'm sure there will be a lot more tears for awhile. Goodness knows there has been a lot shed for the past 7 yrs. I pray that God will give me the strength to move on and the patience with me to accept what He has given me. I pray that it won't be as bad as I think. I pray again and again for that.

Dreadful 1st day of School

2009-09-01T06:45:00.004-06:00

So school started last week and I had a little boy who DID NOT want to go. There was no end of excuses of why he should stay at home; he is smart enough, he doesn't want me alone, blah, blah, blah. I have to admit that I wasn't looking forward to my boy to begin another year of school but it has to be done. He cried for days and days and getting him ready for the first day was like pulling teeth, which we have yet to do :). When I dropped him off he got a big hug from his teacher, Mrs. McKee and off he went to play with Ally. Just like that he was happy about school! Whew!

As you can see from the pictures above, trying to get a seven year old to smile normal is nearly impossible. I think I was trying too hard for that perfect picture and Sam was trying so hard for me but his heart just wasn't in it and I gave up. It was just so hard for him to be excited about the day. Poor guy.

On the other end of the spectrum is Jade. He couldn't wait to go to school and ride the bus. He was so excited he could barely contain himself. All that morning he kept asking, "Is it time? Is it time?" Jade & I went to his parents house and walked him to the school bus. I was overwhelmed by emotions that he was going to kindergarten and that Summer & Rob wanted me to go with them to the bus stop. I can't express how honored I was that I got to spend that monumental moment with them. I will never forget it. I wonder what the bus drver thought when he seen two mom's crying like crazy over the same child. It was quite a sight, I'm sure.

Sam & Jade, I love you guys and I'm so proud of what big boys you are!

The Highly Anticipated But Short Lived Trip To The Splash Park

2009-08-23T10:36:00.003-06:00

You will have to excuse the lack of photos, it was a whirlwind and there wasn't time for pictures, as you can tell from the story below

Since Sam has been having an extremely hard time with going back to school, I thought a day doing "Sam" things would really brighten his day. He has wanted to go to the splash park for forever and with swimming lessons finally done, we had time to do such. Jenny and the kids were going to go with us and I was going on day I had Jade, so Sam had lots kids to play with. However, Jenny had to go to Oregon and Jade ended up going to Grandma Bobby's for the weekend. I felt so bad about no kids going but all Sam said, "It's okay, Mom, I can make new friends." I wanted to cry. Sometimes, it amazes me how adaptable Sam is. No, he is not okay with no brothers or sisters but thankfully he makes friends wherever he goes to help fill the void.

Anyway, my mom went with us for "Sam's day". We went to Wendy's and then to the splash park. I had brought magazines, books and my cross stitching to fill the time. I was planning on hours but 15 minutes later, Sam came back ready to go! Really?!?! I was so looking forward to relaxing on a blanket with a good book for quite some time. Sam was so jacked about going but once we got there, he had the attitude of been there, done that! Mom & I convinced him to stay awhile longer but that only lasted a half hour more. I'm not sure exactly what I expected. Sam is a fast movin' kid with the attention span of a knat and he usually doesn't stick with things for very long. I thought the multitude of kids would entertain him but nope, he was ready to go. Looking back I could have placed a few sprinklers on the lawn, placed a pool at the end of the slide and dropped a bucket of water on him once in awhile! He would have had just as much fun. Oh well, it was good that Grandma Tammie went with us and got time to spend with Sam before the dreaded 1st day of school begins.

Fishin’

2009-08-18T07:12:00.003-06:00

For those who know us, you know what obsessive fishermen Blaine & I are and that Sam HATES it! I am totally crushed that we can have such a boy's boy and that unless the fishing pole is attached to an excavator, he could care less. So this summer when Sam was spending time with his grandparents in Rupert, I took Jade fishing to Connie's Pond. I thought that I might have a chance with that one and woohoo, he isa fan! Jade loves, loves it! We caught 4 fish in a matter of minutes. I would hook them and he would reel them in. We had to take it to Grandpa Big and to Grandma Tammie's to show them and he even wanted to take them to Driggs to show Grandma and Grandpa Zohner.

Since that day, he has begged to go fishing with just him & I and he says that we can leave Sam with a babysitter, which Sam is great with! I am so glad that at least I have someone to take fishing with me. Sam, you are missing out!

The “Do” Rag

2009-08-18T06:55:00.003-06:00

My mom recently bought Sam a "Do" rag at the grocery store. Sam is in absolute love with it. He wears it everywhere…to bed, town, swimming lessons, and everywhere in between. I have tried hiding the little sucker but he keeps finding it! I don't care that he has it but does he have to wear it all the time? He thinks he is the coolest kid in the world and Grandma Tammie is "the very bestest". Sam has got no end of crap from his relatives about his "poo" rag but even then he still wears it! I don't know whether to be proud that he doesn't care what other people think or be nervous that he doesn't care.

Also the other day, I took the boys to the grocery store with me and Jade had to have one also! So like the sucker I am, I bought it for him. Jade was so excited to be like Sam. However, five minutes later, I look in the rearview mirror and Sam has both of them on because he had told Jade that Jade wasn't cool enough for it and that he should have it. Talk about a manipulator! Needless to say, Sam soon found out that Mom gets mad when you say those kind of things!

Jade

2009-08-17T08:45:00.006-06:00

I have had several questions regarding the "cute red head" in our family picture. "Who is he?", "I thought you only had one boy?" Well, here is the story.....

That is Jade. He is the son of Rob Zazzara and Summer Winger. His second mommy and daddy is us. I have watched him since he was a few weeks old and needless to say, at 5 yrs old, he is a part of our family. Since Sam and Jade are only children, they treat each other like brothers, except the fighting. I have no idea why but they have never fought. Ever.

He may not be my blood but we adore and love him as if he was our own. For some unknown reason, instead of God giving Blaine & I more children, He has blessed this family with Jade. I am so thankful that we have had the opportunity to have Jade in our lives. My parents and grandparents are called his grandparents and my brother, his uncle. He started that when he was just starting to talk and we think it is great. A child can never have enough love and my family readily gives it to him.

Summer & Rob take Sam on their outings with them and Blaine & I take Jade also on our expeditions. So both Sam & Jade have the opportunity to spend time together with both sets of parents. It's great for all of us.

So there's the story. It may be strange but that's just another day and the life of the Rasmussens.

Family Reunion

2009-08-17T06:52:00.005-06:00

On the 23rd of July, we went to the Jones Family Reunion in Rupert. All of the Aunt & Uncles and cousins came for a total of 53 people from the Gordon Jones Family! We all brought our campers and our water toys for four fun filled days at the Snake River.

I have to admit when Richard & Betty mentioned playing on the river, I picture the Snake River here and how fast and extremely cold it is, however, down there it was 71 degrees and fairly slow. We had so much fun tubing, watching the kids play, and even watching the adults try to out do each other. Blaine was wake boarding and actually did a 180! I don't I don't know who was more suprised Blaine or I.

Sam tried his hand at kneeboarding and also waterskiing. He did a great job on both and even threw in a little bit of cockiness into it. He was kneeboarding with his hands in the air and trying to jump out of the wake on the trainer skiis. That's my boy!

I was having a great time tubing with everyone until as I was trying to get out of the intertube onto the boat, it went out from underneath me and I slammed down onto the boat, breaking three ribs. It's almost been month and the little suckers still hurt! It seems no matter what I do, clumsiness still prevails!

Once again, I'm counting my blessings

2009-08-16T12:24:00.001-06:00

I can't believe how appropriate my blog title is. It seems that I am always finding things to count as my blessings.

Since the first of the year, Blaine & I have been through some tough times. First, Blaine was cut back down to forty hours a week from his usual fifty. Which at first, we thought our throats had been cut, but after cutting a few unnecessary things in our life, we figured it out. Secondly, it was a constant threat of hearing that Blaine's employer is shutting the doors. It was going to be okay, we had made backup plans, so we thought. Unfortunately, our backup plans became null and void, once the economy hit the valley hard. There was nobody hiring and everybody looking for jobs. It was and still is terrifying. In April, Blaine got laid off and he went to Rupert to work. Thankfully, his parents had a lot of remodeling to do, so Blaine spent the week in Rupert and would come home for a few days. It was really hard on Blaine, Sam & I to be away from each other. It was especially hard on Blaine because he wasn't at home and he was worried about what was going to happen next.

Then May hit with a vengeance, Dad was in the hospital, Blaine was taking care of the house and Sam while I was in Rexburg and he was working a day at a time at Owen's. It was stressful on him to say the least. Needless to say, at the end of May, Blaine's leg started to burn and sting.

For those of you who do not know, Blaine was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2002. That's a post for another day, but the long and short of it is he is doing fairly well and he has had only a few exacerbation's. It really shouldn't have been a surprise when Blaine told me of the latest episode but my heart still stopped and I had a small nervous breakdown. With the six months of stress, it was bound to happen sooner or later.

There are days, even a month can go by without me constantly thinking about Blaine's illness but there are times that I want to crawl in a hole and wait for all of it to be over. It is the most frustrating and terrifying thing to go through. Frustrating because there is not a damn thing I can do about it. Terrifying because we don't know what is around the bend. It could be fifty years until he is wheelchair bound or it can be today. The unknowing is the hardest for us. Both Blaine & I are planners. We have to plan everything, so when he was diagnosed, all the sudden we are faced with something that we cannot plan. We try to plan for the worst but hope for the best. I think in this instance, that might be the way to go.

Anyway, I have learned to count my blessings every time I see Blaine being active. We are so grateful that he has not been hit hard with this horrible disease. It could be so much worse. Still, I can't help but worry that one day Blaine will not be able to get out of bed. When will be the time that he can no longer hug Sam or I? When will be the time that his memory starts fading and he can't remember getting married to me or when Sam was born? When will he no longer be able to get on Moe (his horse) or go to hunting camp. When will he want to be put in a nursing home? All these things are a great worry to me. I try to remain positive but in the back of my mind I am always worried about the when or what ifs.

So for today, instead of worrying, I am going to be counting my blessings that he is outside riding his horse and living life to the fullest. I am going to treasure the kiss and hug this morning and the silly smile of his as he strolls outside. I am going to treasure every moment that he is healthy and active because someday that may not be true.

For all of you out there, please try to put away the fears for even a moment and count blessings, because everyone has something to be grateful for. I know that even when I am under the blackest cloud, there is always something that is right in this world.

Catching up

2009-08-16T10:45:00.000-06:00

I have always tried to count my blessings each and everyday but there are times when all I can think about are the things that I don't have and not about the things that I do have. However, these last few months, I have learned the hard way that God can give freely with his blessings but if we don't fully appreciate them, he can snag them away in second.

WARNING: Very long post but worth telling. I think anyway :)

Let me explain....The first part of May, my dad had a routine colonoscopy that turned bad in a hurry. He ended up with a perforated bowel and for two days his body cavity filled with toxins. When the doctors finally found the problem regarding severe cramps that my dad had tried to explain to them, he ended up coding on the operating table. There was a moment when God took my dad away from us. The doctors revived him and for two days, the doctors and nurses tried to stabilize him enough for surgery. He was on a ventilator and was in an induced coma. I cannot begin to explain my emotions of when I first seen him with the tube in his mouth. My knees were so weak and my heart didn't beat and all I could see was that horrible blue tube and the constant whooshing sound of the ventilator. My dad, the man that walks on water and who has never showed weakness, was laying on the hospital bed with doctors, nurses and everybody in between working to keep my dad alive. For that rest of the day and night, Dad's blood pressure dropped, his heart rate continued to climb and his temperature never went down, the doctors would come in and look in on him and they would have a look on their face that a blind person could tell was not hopeful. Blaine & I stayed the first night with him. For the rest of the night, I was holding Dad's hand, as I pleaded with him to get better and to come back. I pleaded with God, I cursed God...He can't take Dad away, we need him. Wasn't it enough he took Grandpa Marion away. I remember sitting in the chair watching the sun come up and thinking, "Is this the day, my dad leaves us? Will he choose to be with his mom and dad, who I am sure he misses greatly?"

Later that morning, the anesthesiologist, the internal doctor and the surgeon came in and decided that Dad wasn't going to get any better without surgery and that they were going to attempt it. The anesthesiologist stated that there was a better chance of Dad not making it then making it. He kept repeating, "He is very sick. He is very sick" No shit, Sherlock, I can see that. If there was any doubt in my head, all I had to do was hear the whooshing sound of the ventilator or look at my dad with the hundreds of needles and tubes connected to him. As they wheeled Dad out, Mom, Matt & I struggled to keep each other up as they went down the hall. The room kept spinning and all I could think about is Dad not coming back and I never got to tell him that I loved him. It wasn't hard to think that way, everyone in the ICU was somber and had that look of pity when they looked at us. For the next fours hours, we paced the hospital halls and Dad's room. The nurses were absolutely wonderful and kept us updated. The first shining moment was when Dad made it past the spinal tap. One hurdle down, six thousand to go. Finally, he arrived out of surgery with the tear repaired.

For the next five days, Dad continued to improve. I never thought that I would be grateful for little tiny bits of improvement. Yea, his temp went down .5 degrees. Yea, his heart rate went down 2. It was hard to explain to people how he was doing. They would ask if the ventilator was gone...no, but his temp is down .5. I truly thought they thought I was losing my mind. But that is how it was, my whole family was having mini happy dances every second that Dad was getting better. It was also interesting to see how visitors handled the ventilator, some would go completely white, others would just stand there, like they didn't know what to do. Poor Jay Calderwood came in the first day after surgery and I don't think that it was anything that he expected. He waltzed in like it was another day at the coffee shop. He immediately lost all color and after Matt & I said hello, he patted Dad's hand and walked out without a word. I felt so bad for him.

The internist, who was a dead ringer for Al from Tim the Tool man Taylor show ( the name of the show escapes me) came in day and night to check on him and on the third day the doctor said that they would start to wean him of the sedation meds and try to get the tube out. Who would have thought that Dad would be improving that much. He was definitely the miracle on the ICU floor. For two days, we tried to get Dad alert enough to respond to commands so that Doctor Lophgrin could remove the tube. We tried everything, we tickled his toes (which he hates with a passion), we talked to him constantly. Even Dr. Lophgrin yelled at him to wake up. When he first did that I wanted to deck him! How dare he yell at my dad but I realized he was just trying to help. We even offered him a cup of coffee! Nothing. The fourth day, the doctor gave him a boost of something to help him wake up. Mom and the ICU nurse was standing at the foot of the bed and Matt, Dr. Lophgrin and I were standing at the foot when he woke up. He seen all of us and then he looked at the nurse and raised his eyebrows in a way that it was so apparent that he thought she was cute. It was the funniest thing we had ever seen. Not only to see his eyes open but the fact that Dad can even flirt with a tube down his throat! The medication soon wore off and he went back to sleep. That I believe, up until that time, was one the best moments in my life.

After a few days, the tube was removed and I was fortunate enough to be there when it happened. Dad's voice was extremely hoarse but it was still the best sound on this earth. He was totally confused and thought that it was still Friday, the day the ambulance took him to Rexburg. Thankfully, he didn't remember anything. The joke of the family was that Doctor Lophgrin should give us all a little dash of the sedation medicine so that we could forget the past week.

He was finally in a regular room and was given morphine, which by the way, he will no longer ever have. I love the floating felling I get when I am on that stuff but Dad seen a booger monster, killers on the loose in the halls and Grandma and Grandpa van Leerdam (who are dead). He got mad at me for not giving Grandpa my chair and not getting him a cup of coffee. He was having a complete conversation with them! He even said to "Grandma" that I was so much like her but clumsy! It wasn't funny then but now I can laugh about it. Long story short, no more morphine for Dad.

Anyway, after ten days in the hospital, Dad was released and he was able to stay at Blaine and I's house. As awful as it sounds, I loved having to take care of Dad and was able to spend time with him. I thoroughly enjoyed taking care of his 14 in incision and helping take care and replacing his illiostomy bag and wafer. I was part of his healing process and I was totally in my element.

After that long, long week, I have consistently thanked God for letting Dad stay here. He is one of my greatest blessings and there is not a day go by that I am so grateful that he is alive and doing well. I have also prioritized things in the proper way. I am no longer so consumed by a clean house, I would rather spend time with my family. I can't say that I'm still not obsessive but I obsess about more serious stuff now. I guess God decided to give my family a little lesson in blessings and gratefulness. I don't know about the others but I for one will never forget counting my blessings.

2009-04-29T07:20:00.000-06:00

Uncle Matty & Aunt Sheena gave Sam a rocket for Christmas. Three months later, Sam finally begged Blaine enough that he helped Sam prepare it for launching. Sam was so excited that he could barely stand it. He kept running in and out of the garage asking Blaine if it was ready yet. After a few "duds" the rocket took off and almost landed in some trees but luckily the rocket survived for many more launchings. We even took a spur of the moment trip to Idaho Falls, which is not like Blaine to do so, just for some more rockets engines. Who enjoys the rocket more?!?!?

2009-04-28T08:02:00.000-06:00

What would Sam do without his Grandma's and their presents? Grandma Tammie gave this pirate treasure excavation set for Valentine's Day and it was a huge hit. I had the brilliant idea of letting him dig up treasure in my office instead of out in the garage. CRAP! That was three months ago and I still am finding gravel! Anyway, it took Sam a couple of days to get the treasure out, which for him is FOREVER. Once he got to the map and coin, he wanted me to rush to the store and buy him a new one, but mean, old mommy wouldn't do it. I had enough gravel in my office for a while!

2009-04-27T09:59:00.000-06:00

We were invited to go sledding at Rocky Point for Kaden's 9th birthday. The weather wasn't very nice but the sledding was great! Uncle Bruce, Aunt Patty, Talon, Joet, Millie, also went and it was lots of fun to spend time with them. Even Grandpa Daryl went with us! We took tubes and sleds both. There were several times that we got close to an aspen and the big pine tree and the bottom but only Ally ended up in them. Poor girl, she wasn't hurt but scared to death! We had contests to see how far we could go and Uncle Bruce, Justin and Sam ended up going the farthest. Yea! Unfortunately, Sam had an accident and we had to leave. Tiny bladders just don't seem to want to wait until the fun is done! Ohwell, it was fun while it lasted! Thanks for the invite!

2009-04-27T09:47:00.000-06:00

After receiving free ski passes for helping with the ski school, Blaine, Sam & I went to Grand Targhee for the day. Sam & Blaine skiied while I tried to remember how to snowboard. Ouch! For future reference, snowboarding is not like riding a bike!You do forget! The boys went down the hill two times to my one and usually I was the great big snowball rolling down the hill. Watching Sam ski with absolutely no fear was quite scary at times but it was amazing, how just in the few times that he has gone, he has learned so much. He will be a great skiier. Can't wait to do it again next year!

2009-04-27T09:36:00.000-06:00

This winter, I had the opportunity to watch Millie while Joet taught ski school. I was so honored that I was asked to watch her and Sam and I looked forward to it every week. Millie is such a sweet natured little girl and it was a great pleasure to have her. Thanks, Joet & Talon!

2009-03-20T17:50:00.000-06:00

Earlier this year, Sam made his first snowman by himself. I was so proud of him. For Sam to actually finish a project that takes more than one second, is a huge feat. Unfortunately, soon after taking this photo, the snowman got demolished by a Sammy bulldozer!