Carissa and Brandon have truly made a beautiful girl! Today, they will be home and I cannot wait to hold her. I love the feeling and the smell of a new baby, nothing is better in the whole world.
I have to admit I was really upset about the news that Carissa was pregnant. I couldn't imagine why God would give a baby to someone who wasn't ready for one when there was a couple just across the yard that would dearly love one. I struggled month after month to just excited for Brandon and Carissa and not extremely jealous and I eventually even got to rub her belly without having to leave the room for the fear of tears falling down my cheeks. I can say it was a nine month work in progress but I got there.
Last night we got the news that Addilyn was born and both Blaine & I sat on the couch and had a pity party( 2 pints of Ben & Jerry's). Tonya told us that the pictures were on Facebook and either of us could stand to look at them just yet, however, at midnight we both got up looked at the pictures and fell head over heals in love with her! She is absolutely beautiful and I know with absolute certainty that God didn't make a mistake, Addilyn is where she belongs. I can't say that a very small part of me isn't jealous but there is a whole big part that is so excited for her to be here and so happy for Carissa and Brandon, truly.
Last night as I was trying to get to sleep, I was counting my blessings and came across a blessing that I hadn't really realized before. This weekend, I was able to send Sam off with this Grandpa Daryl to go into hunting camp while Blaine, Matt, Sheena and I rode our horses in. I didn't have a baby to worry about, I didn't have to pack a huge diaper bag, I didn't have to stay in camp with the baby on Saturday while everyone else went on a horse ride...I had freedom. I can count that as my blessings, can't I? Sure, if someone was to hand a baby over to me, I would give up my freedom in a heart beat but this will be okay, I can learn appreciate it more and more. It will get easier. Right?
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She IS beautiful. Look at that hair. How precious.
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