Okay, I think I get it!

I had always wondered if God thought that Blaine & I weren't worthy enough to have more than one child. I could not grasp why He had not blessed us with another healthy pregancy or a baby. Blaine and I tried so hard to prove to him that we were worthy which at times costs us emotionally everything we had. I just could not understand. I cried, I threw fits, I cussed, I pleaded, and even at my worst I tried to bargain but still nothing. Then out of the blue, the doctor said, "You are pregnant!" Those words were something I had dreamed about but thought that those words were only going to be a dream. I admit at first I was a little unsure of being pregnant after eight years. I was sick, grouchy and tired and I thought that there is no way I could do this.

However, as my little baby has grown, I began to get it. Perhaps, God wanted to make sure I truly was ready for this blessing and I could fully grasp the magnitude of this miracle. Maybe, He wanted me to be older and stronger. I admit the saying, "What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger" really applies here. Maybe, here is our little miracle so that we can store the cord blood and help Blaine with his awful disease. I may never know but I really like those reasons.

As my belly has grown and I struggle to fit into my clothes, all I can think is that we must have done something right and this baby and pregnacy will NEVER be taken for granted.